Friday, September 30, 2005

Not Going Nowhere - A Feature Presentation.

Why hello there, I didn't see you come in.
I was just looking at my itinerary for Feburary, where I take this blog to new and exciting places.
Now, I know you were thinking that I was Not Going Nowhere, but that turned out to be an outright lie.

Let me show you the plan:

Firstly, I have to get outta bed in the early, early morning and leave here:

To travel to here:

Japan is really just a stop over but we will have time to visit here:

and maybe fit this guy in:

and definitely, positively, without a doubt, don't even joke about it, fit these guys in:

and then shoot off to Mexico City for one night only:

Rested, excited, less hungover on sake (as if I would ever spell it any other way), we're taking on Antigua:

Then we'll be taking on some ruins:

Get some of this action in Roatan:

Word in the newspapers is that Nicaragua is involved in a Cival War (of Salsa):

In case we can get bored at this point, we can hike around this:

and/or do this:

I think we'll be finishing up with a bit of this:

and then we'll be off home, while Alex and Danielle continue with a bit of this:

and that is the plan, man!

Next up, The Making Of 'Not Going Nowhere - A Feature Presentation'.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Random Tuesday Questions

1.) When was the last time you saw/heard an ice cream van doing the rounds of a neighbourhood? I saw one at lunchtime today, but before that, it must have been years/centuries...

2.) Did anyone see the sky writing today? What the heck does "Footy Bruises Her" mean?

3.) Why wasn't Bart allowed to see the Itchy & Scratchy movie? It wasn't because he was ripping up the carpet was it? I promise I'll solve world hunger and that, right after my brain is finished with this...

4.) Has anyone, anyone ever eaten anything from KFC and not felt a little sickly afterwards?

I'm going to cut my fingernails today, but I need to plan the best time to do this because afterwards I can't touch anything foamy or tea towelly.

It's tough being me sometimes.

4 days left of work.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Freakin' get out of bed.

There was this one time this morning, when I got out of bed very, very late. Getting out of bed late has the unfortunate consequence of dealing with totally increased traffic all over the shop.

We live in a totally sleepy suburb, but just along the way is the ports, where all the big trucks chuck items onto all the big ships and come close to 9am traffic gets all craziness. Its only for a kilometre and then my trip clears up and it's smooth sailing all the way.
So, coming out from my street I could see that traffic was backed up craziness so I snuck into a spot. After waiting for a while, it seemed like we were only moving a metre or so each light change. I whipped out in the free moving lane and noticed cars were going around a truck. I thought it had broken down, but it wasn't until I and everyone turned in front of him that he was actually waiting for enough room, and going ballistic at everyone. Freakin' chaos.

I was trapped with a few other cars in the intersection and there were trucks everywhere, and beeping and yelling and not moving and all sorts of fun. I was feeling a bit exposed on my motorbike so I snuck onto the footpath to get right out of the way - I've always wanted to do that. Wahoooo!! I imagine all the truck drivers were chearing for me like they do at the end of every schmaltzy American romantic comedy where the dude has to get across town to stop the chick leaving forever.

It was pretty fun riding on this path, it hasn't been used by anyone for decades because it's all factories and paddocks. I did feel a bit guilty, I was passing a crazy amount of cars (all cheering for me I'm sure) and I totally got past the craziness. Go me! I was about to set off into the smooth sailing sector when I was busted by the police. I received two fines, one for riding on the footpath and one for not updating my rego sticker for 3 years.

I was standing there waiting for the dude to write out the ticket and trying to figure out how many hundreds of dollars it was going to be and how many points I might have left. Everyone totally gawks, I'm sure that's the worse part of the whole thing. Anyway, the tickets were nothing like I was expecting, like $52 and $70 and no demerit points, and the cars and trucks I was hangin' with earlier still hadn't passed yet. Whoa!

So, I totally learned my lesson, freakin get out of bed you lazy bum!
What I did realise though, during the remainder of my motorbiking was how many little laws I break every trip. Getting a speeding ticket on a bike is almost unheard of, you technically aren't supposed to share lanes with other vehicles so riding between cars to the front of the lights is actually against the law. It seems there are laws, then there are laws that just aren't enforced for bikes, it's weird.

I do realise that lots of people have a lot of concern for motorbike riders and I am actually a very defensive rider, I simply can't afford to have an accident. I see a lot of weekend bike dudes doing silly, silly things and you know, that they have to have an accident before they understand... it's a shame.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Unrefutable proof that the brain disintegrates through non-use.

This is the crown glory of my achievements after 8 hours at work yesterday.

Click goes my keyboard, click, click, click.
If I had to work here forever, I would probably be sick
'cos the work is crazy boring and the people aren't real fun
so I'm counting down the days until they say I'm totally done.

I think I've broken something.

6 working days to go.

Thursday, September 15, 2005


Now, I may have mentioned at some point that I’m not doing a whole lot of work at the moment, my days have been filled with sitting, staring and pretending to look like I’m half heartedly doing something while everyone around me works really freakin hard, stresses, etc. This might be hard to believe, but this is the hardest job I’ve ever had to do, I don’t think I get paid enough to be this bored. I’ve been killing time for 4 weeks.

Anyway, they’ve asked me to take Friday and Monday off until they can finish their work that I need completed to start mine. Most contractors would be peeved because it affects income, but goddam I’m excited!!! I don’t think I’ve ever been so rapt with a management decision. Yeah baby yeah!! Soooooo freakin relieved... I don't think I could have lasted another day.


Missed celebrating my 100th post.

Getting all excited about 102 just isn't freakin' the same.

Happy Birthday Adam's dad.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Braindump is the new prose

Tomorrow is my Dad's birthday he will like 55 or some such age, it doesn't really matter, anyone over 30 can't be trusted and all get heaped in to the same group of 'old'. My Dad however, has a super young son called Dominic who is probably about two years old. We were going to have a birthday lunch on Saturday but my dad has had to cancel/reschedule because he's been invited to a mates "farewell" party. I'm not sure what to call this event, because it's for a dude who has been given between 3 and 6 months to live. I'm sure no one will be calling it a farewell party but it's kind of what it is. I'm not sure how I'd deal going to such an event. Is happiness and hilarity going to be forced? Will there by many ackward silences whenever someone mentions a word that can relate to death (Man, I'm dead tired after I killed that steak.) ? Will everyone forget and just enjoy themselves? My dad is super awesome at talking crap so I know this party is in excellent hands, taking a small child always entertains people anyway - as if people can talk about anything else when there are little kids running around.
Anyway, I'm patiently waiting for little Dominic to grow up a bit, I want to teach him snowboarding and climbing trees and ninjitsu and how to be my henchman/minion, etc. Currently he just hands me stuff. Useful for becoming a minion but just isn't as fun as high speed skateboarding.

A horse of course!

Now, we already had a small discussion on where this blog was going, and we all decided wholehearted that it is not to become a blog that just contains photos of me accidentally dressed up in bizarreness.

There will be no photos posted of me in the bottom end of a horse costume on Satdee night.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Freakin stood up again!

I'm totally practising to be a way cool photographer and have set up a studio in my house. Every now and then someone approaches me to jumpstart their portfolio or to get some photos for their family or partner. I get really excited at the opportunity because I want to be really freakin good. I get better, they get free good photos, works for everyone.

Anyway, I sit here for the second Sunday in a row stood up by the same girl. Dagnammit!
So, if any of you lovely people want some way groovy photos of your or someone you know feel free to e-mail me. The only condition is that you have to freakin show up!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Making a stand!!

Listen you advertising anonymous and non-anonymous blogging not even real people but probably robots of some sort comment leavers, I’m going to delete all your sales pitches starting now.

Yeah, what do you have to say about that?!?

Something new....

-Start Prologue to Story-

Exercise makes me bored.
Exercise needs to be hard work.
Ice cream is no good as motivation to get exercising.

Melbourne, being fadish like nothing else, I've noticed that different exercises have come in and out of fashion; gyms, rollerblading, yoga, pilates, touch football, team sports, bootcamp, dancing, etc, etc.

They all still exist, obviously, but they've all had their moment to shine. So, I hear you almost ask except you haven't thought of it yet, what is all a shinin' right this very second?

Well my friends, I always make an effort to have answers to the questions I've asked on your behalf and this, this is no exception. The latest trend in fitness is Bollywood dancing. I gave it a burl last night and it was massive. It has totally, totally exploded and this class I went to was massively packed.

The most obvious thing was that there were 4 boys and a hundred million girls. We were a bit nervous, girls can snap at any second, but it all turned out okay.

The existence of Bollywood has only recently blipped my radar, but the dance moves we learnt totally seemed familiar. It was hard, I felt it in my thighs and in my stomach. It was pretty freakin' fun, the chicks were giggling the whole way through and we totally learnt a whole song (Salsa teaches like, 12 seconds of moves over the hour).

-End Prologue to Story-

-Start Story-

Such funness!

-End Story-

Boys and Girls,

Let's have a little chat shall we? I wanted to get you all together, to talk about this blog. As I approach the mature 100 post mark, I feel that I should let you know on the direction of this timekillingdevice journey.

I know you are surprised, shocked even, you probably assumed this adventure was a random wander, a chronical of the unlinked. There are, however, certain restrictions I have placed on this bloggothingo. I actually started this blog as a bit of fun, something to wile away the working hours. Later, I noticed that I tended to use it as a journal to get stuff off my chest (not anvils, scorpions - emotions) but it got all complainy and boring.

Then, I started to happen along other people's blogs (before then I only found gibberish on the 'next blog' button) and be entertained by the funness. So, my posts became more interactive, more involved with the blogosphere rather than internal 'woe is me' dialogues.
This thing will actually become my travel blog in January 2006. This means that I'll actually have to introduce it to my world. Orginally I was never going to do that, so I could be completely open and write about anything in my life without regard for offending anyone. Over time I realised that posts like that aren't really me and that this'll be a great spot to update peoples/countries with any travel adventures I accidentally happen upon. I'm a bit excited I'll be able to chuck photos on too.

So, that's where things are headed. I'm aware of the irony that 'not going nowhere' will become a travel journal at some point. I'm also not really looking forward to the point where I'll have to tell everyone about it and they'll possibly notice I've blogged up a storm for a few months, but I'm sure I'll cope. I'm a trooper/I'll forget.

Good. I'm glad we had this discussion.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Satdee night

Disco Sex IV.

Was Da Bomb! Was the gas!
Was way groovy baby!!

Friday, September 02, 2005

Last night...

... a girl at Salsa said that only 5% of the world "gets it", and I'm one of them. I totally agreed but still, 12 hours later, I still have no idea what she was talking about.