Thursday, December 06, 2007

Interviewed like just another scraggly celebrity

Young Enny has been kind enough to fire questions at me on the topics facing Australia's kindayouth:

1. What was one of your past jobs, what is your current job, and whatis your realistic dream job?

At one stage I was a candle wrapper, at another I was a rollerblade pamphlet guy and at another I was a podium gogo dancer but mostly I've been a computer dude extraordinaire. My continued Not Being Found Out As A Massive Fraud can be mostly attributed my ability to talk a whole lot of possibly legitimate sounding guff and me constantly telling people I'm a terrible IT guy. No other IT contractor I know talks themselves down with such gusto for fear of never being employed again, but I find it lowers expectation so much that if I do happen to accidentally do something correctly everyone is impressed. Mostly, permanent staff are out to highlight the limitations of any contractor so as to not be outshone, I've never had that problem.

As the pages of this blog may have noticed, I do have RSI in both my hands from computering, which means they ache pretty much all the time. I'm very much looking to get out of the computer industry, but I'm finding it hard to jump into something else without going back to uni to type so many essays, and I'd struggle cashola-wise. My currently plan is to improve my photography skills, find a niche market and reduce the computering to two or three days a week. Pretty much any dream job is one where I get to hang out with cool people who make me laugh.

2. If you weren't living in Melbourne, where do you think you would be living?

Apart from the Caras, there isn't anything keeping me in Melbourne. I totally think I could live in so many worldly places and would very much like to try my hand at living wherevs. Unforts Cara's band is very much keeping her in Melbourne, but once they start touring I would very much like to go with them. Could be fun.

3. If you were to have three bloggers for dinner, who would they be, what would you serve and what would y'all talk about?

Hmm, obvs I've got my favourite fun friends who I had many funtimes with in Brisbane, but to choose different people I'd probably go with IOYC, That's Mister Nora To You Sonny and Jobe. I think that would be superfun. I can't really say I'd know what we'd talk about, I assume many tangents, however I think the main topic of conversation would be my kickin' skills of serving, my massive food on a plate and my fairly okayish haircut. Yeah, probably it would accidentally get steered to topics about me until my guests cracked it, left and staged a rival dinner party with even bigger kickin' skills of serve and more massiver food on a plate. Then I would be sad/eternally seeking revenge.

4. Do you think you and the little red rockstar will be wed one day?What the LEAST likely way the proposal and wedding would go down?

We have quite decided to never, ever do the marrying for reasons thusly; not excited, monies could be spent on funner things. Cara does get jealously of friends at times, but when we do think about it, we'd much rather put that same cash towards recording an album or travelling. Both our sets of parents are quite supportive of our decision which is nice. It they disagreed it wouldn't change my mind at all, but would make family gatherings more awkward than they already are.

So, since anyway is the least likely, I'm going to push the envelope further and say that even leaster is us arriving in a cavelcade of white BMWs. Cara jumps out in tracky daks and a mexican poncho while her bridesmen rock down the aisle first in brilliant white dresses and trains. Not one but nine priests are presiding over this marriage in the Vatican while my divorced parents stand next to each other good naturedly chatting about how each wronged the other. My sister is arm in arm with my grandfather who she recently married herself. I conduct all my parents solemly and with respect while Cara continuing cracks jokes until her Mum runs up and piledrives her into the altar. The crowd claps and the Wiggles perform the leaving church bit.

5. Where do you see yourself at age 35?

Like totally carrying amps off a stage in Norway after taking awesome freakin' photos of the bands. Possibly with a crazy cool handlebar mustache that joins with my sideburns and goes around the back of my head like a sunglasses band.

Now it's your turn. If you want to be interviewed, leave me a commentincluding the words "Interview me." I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions. If you don't have a validemail address on your blog, please provide one. You will update yourblog with a post containing your answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in thesame post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will askthem five questions.