Wednesday, March 23, 2005

How to successfully live in Sydney

1.) Find a nice place in the suburbs.
2.) Ask politely if it is okay for a couple of people to stay while housemate is in Fiji.
3.) When ground floor of apartment gets messy, send warning SMS to housemate.
5.) Don't go to beach when you could a tidyin'
6.) Say "Whoops" when you arrive home to find she made the dude still sleeping clean up the place in the hour she was home.
7.) Clean up good when people leave and before she gets back.
8.) Explain that it was her sister who slept in her bed, not one of your friends - find out warning SMS didn't arrive until after after.

9.) Ask politely if girlfriend's sister can stay for 5 days.
10.) Live in harmony for a couple of days.
11.) Don't wake up housemate at 4am blowing up a lilo for a cousin that can't get home. Maybe feel crap, buy flowers, apologise good and proper a few times.
12.) Don't get asked to leave a month earlier than planned.
13.) Don't leave the next day.
14.) Don't move everything you own into a lodge, and especially don't lose diary with keypass on train at 9pm.
15.) Don't bang loudly on door, but maybe call from payphone when mobile phone died.
16.) Don't give up, hang out in 3 or 4 train stations, whatever you do, don't talk to many apathetic train employees about lost property.
17.) Don't end up in expensive hotel with only the clothes you are wearing.
18.) For your sanity don't find out that the lodge owners were actually there the whole time and leaving messages on your dead phone.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005


Whoooo! Working is fun. Except not.

Totally doing boringest documentation ever. The things we need to document are for testing that are taking us longer to document than it would be to do. Totally unmotivating - totally tragic. The only reason it has to be done is in case they want to do the exact same tests in the future so both my co-worker and I are constantly looking for any distraction, it's very dry.

We just had a long talk about the details of her giving birth, just to avoid work. That's hardcore!

The storm of nerds

Yesterday I did something wrong. I lied.

I did it purely for my own amusement, as I tend to do when the going gets boring and I require entertainment. The problem is that I lied to some math, um, enthusiasts about something I know nothing about.

One dude said "Whoa, we've got 333 users....... that's halfway to the devil".
One amazingly attractive yet big fat liar said "Whoa, that's also a quinox number, cool."

The hush was deafening as the new exciting information was processed. Suddenly, each person in the room realised they had been presented with something new and exciting that they could entertain others with for decades.

Eyes seemingly quizzical, but the ruthless desperation for random maths knowledge obviously apparent. Not being uncomfortable with a bit of attention, I launched onwards.

"There are only four quinox numbers from 1 to infinity.
It is a prime number factored by a different prime number divided by another prime number. Amazingly whichever combination is used, only 4 answers are ever produced.
Reckon you're smart enough to guess the other three quinox numbers?"

Oh. My. God. If I had any idea of what I was starting, I would have run away. Far away. Anyway, the fervour of the workings out, the race between them all. When stuck, I even suggested they google it. By the time they had sweat blood and tears I was totally nervous about telling them I had made the whole thing up.

Now they can't not mention it. Every sentence for evermore. Damn.

Monday, March 07, 2005

The tour of the band

Cara's band is currently, right now, driving to Sydney for a tour. A few of them are staying at my place and I'm so intending to throw them out if they aren't rock and roll enough. If I don't see a TV go through a window.....

Completely co-incidentally my housemate went to Fiji on Saturday and won't be back until the day they leave, means that there is potential for all sorts of rioting without disturbing anyone.

The band managed to get Single of the Week in the leading Sydney street press music magazine, those kids are doing alright.

Friday, March 04, 2005

The craziness caught my t-shirt and won't let go.

I may have become crazy.

I may have become wierd.

I may have been too easily annoyed.

I may have way too much time on my hands.

I had been in Sydney for approximately 20 minutes when I was approached by a young man who needed some help. He had to catch his coach bus to Townsville and needed about 90 cents. I pulled out my change and he actually needed the whole $3.50. Um, sure, if that's what you need.The next day walking around in my business suit, he asked me again.He is not homeless, totally clean, well groomed, wears glasses, backpack and pretty normal looking. In my month here he has asked me about 6 times. I told him off once and he said it wasn't him those other times, when I challenged that he brushed it off and asked for coinage.

So, last night, I followed him around.He saw me everywhere and I watched him make a stack of cash. He does a massive big loop of the busiest blocks so that he hits various bus stops with a half hour spacing. At one point he stopped at a Foriegn Exchange/Money Transfer place for ages and ages, filling out forms and emptying his pockets.

I guess I'm annoyed because each week hundreds of people are trying to help a guy who just wants to catch his coach. In the time that I followed him he must of asked at least 25 people and because he has a story and shows them some bus ticket stub most people give him something. He seems to have no memory of people he's asked, I saw him accidentally approach some people twice in a few minutes.

It's completely none of my business, but I feel like I should do something about it. How is someone deterred from being so successfully exploitive?

Thursday, March 03, 2005

A whole new world

I just thought you should know, I came into work an hour earlier than usual..... I usually rock up at 9.30 or something. It is totally a whole new world. The train wasn't crazy and the office is empty which are totally good things, but my eyes are blinking, I'm dizzy and feeling a little sick being awake so early. I may need an afternoon nap. Who knew the world operated at 8 in the morning?!?