Friday, March 30, 2007

The Most Massive Anti Climax the World Has Ever Seen!!

This is my 300th post and my only thought is:

The more time I spend in the gym, the more I think that dumb luck is the only thing that seperates the attractive from the unattractive.

Probably my best 300th post ever.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Told by a cartoon to update this 'ere blog.

Sheeesh. You turn a computer on to wish a young lady 'happy birthday' only to find that so many typed and drawn demands for updatation. Blogwords are like a drug dude, and I think you're all addicted, but, but, but what if I don't write anything meaningful, or entertaining or full of wise? Will you all be so disappointed?

Anywho, I like left Brisb a while ago. The little red rockstar and I spent a whole day and a half cleaning a one bedroom apartment, I swear installing a mudslide was a heaps good idea at the time, but not the greatest for retaining one's bond.

I was unemployed for one day, a sore point for my Dad who tries to encourage the unemployed bum in me. I have however, renewed my plan to contract to ridiculously large and environmentally disasterous companies and then only do very shabby work at best in order to suck them dry from the inside out and redistribute those funds to support Melbourne live music. It's a dasteredly plan and one only a ninja can hope to succeed. No nunchucks or ninja stars required, my main weapons are Smiling When Spoken To and Pretending to Look Busy.

This company I'm contracting to for the next couple of months is ridiculous. In Brisbane I was working under ground in an office known throughout the public sector for it's old fashioned decore. Now I'm on some upper, upper, upper high floor in Southbank, overlooking a river and everything else. I look down on helicopters. It's as opulent as hell. Everyday I wonder at it's ridiculousness.

The only problem so far is that I've been hardcore restrained at my internet usage because the big boss keeps walking behind me. Instead I've been moving Excel cells around. I realised today that all the work I've been doing the past week has actually made the thing I'm trying to do maybe a hundred times worse so tomorrow I'm going to have to undo all my crud and then start again. Watch and learn ninjas.

I do realise I'm making way no sense, but I'm really freakin' tired. I've been arising at hardcore o'clock to hang out at a super poncy gym. Most people seem to have full makeup on when they treadmill at 6am. The rockstar and I have started a 12 week course thing to become even more superheroey. It is quite tedious and uncomfortable and requires many thoughts and thinkings, but we're doing it together in a loving coupley way, which means I have try and win.

Can someone buy a four bedroom house for us to rent? Close to the city and local shops? I don't really fit back into this house. To type out this blog I'm standing in a corner between an amp and a fold up mattress.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Oils ain't oils

So like, now I'm confused.

A while ago, a friend of mine who works in the airplane industry said that the world only has about 10 years worth of petrol left. She's very environmental and smart and I quite trust the things she says.

On the weekend, one of my friends partner is an engineer who has worked on oil rigs and the like, said that actually heaps and heaps and heaps of oil left, that the world is actually covered in oil. He explained that the sands in Canada alone (which has been untouched because it's a hard and expensive process) have enough oil to keep the US going for 20 years. He basically said all these words about running out was to keep the price up - no one wants to flood the market.

So obviously, different organisations provide different information based on their own vested interests. Which I understand how that is happened, but surely in a whole planet of people measuring stuff, a completely independant research group has accurately calculated how much oil is still in the earth. Does anyone know of where I could find such information?

Friday, March 02, 2007

Funky Friday Funness - Too Many Freakin' Fs.

So like, when trapped in an office underground you pretty much assume that the world outside is super rad. It might be cyclonin' out there but it's all sunshinin' in my mind.

I have two problems. 1.) My segues need work. 2.) My imagination has a fairly common but fairly damaging overactive issues. Instead of dreaming about getting up from my desk, walking outside and wandering through the streets and shops, I've invented some games I would like to play:

Game 1: 500 metre Crowd Dash

A number of competitors are lined up. An official starts the race with a clear loud "GO!"
Competitors dash to the finish line where an official officiates. Only competitors that were not disqualified are eligible for the winnings.

Allowed movement types: Running, sprinting, hopping, jumping, duck + somersault, diving, wall running, hurdling, twirling, dodging.

Disqualifying moves: Causing members of crowd to drop cool refreshing beverages or food.Making little kids cry.Touching any members (or members of members) of crowd.Getting arrested.

Gold Star moves: Seperating Interactions of Wrong, ie, creating a distraction so a chick or a dude can escape from some clown trying to pick them up or running between someone asking for money and their victim.
Subtling barracking for the exact opposite thing a crowd member loves, ie, "Go Essendon", "Enjoy Coke", "This goes with that at Sussans", etc.Pulling out a Toyota freezeframe jump in the midst of dash.

5 gold stars = Massive Massive Belt Buckle of Achievement.

Arenas of Dash:Shopping strips, Straight after concerts or sporting events, lunchtime foodcourts, anywhere where crowds are walking in different directions at different angles and speeds.

Game 2: Biggest Gainer.

Competitors walk around clothing stores trying on clothes. The person who managed to get the most number of clothes on without being told off wins. Note: Disapproving looks from teenage staff do not count as a 'telling off', just existing is enough to get a disapproving look. Side note: I still feel like a teenager, I'm just not emo'd.

Game 3: Reversal Busking.

Competitors put 2 dollars of 20 cent coins in a hat each and then must create songs or dance performances that results in the public removing said coins. The winner is the competitor with the least amount of money in their hat. Winner gets the total monies from both hats.

Any worthy competitors out there? Anyone? Anyone?