Whoa! I've been totally reveiwed.

Well, it's finally happened, my blog has been reviewed by the International Blog Reviewing, ie Jobe, and it seems to have survived relatively unscathed. I would say the review is pretty freakin harsh fair and it's given me a greater direction in which to take my blog. This weekend I might check out some Blog Content Advisors to see if I can get any good deals. If the Advisors are far too expensive, then I'll probably just go around asking small children what they think about marriage.

Anyway, it's right here: http://jobilates.blogspot.com/2005/07/blog-review-not-going-nowhere.html

I know I've posted about this before....

....but goddam people get all mushy when they find out you're moving on. My impending departure was announced at my Salsa class last night and I would say all most one teared up appropriately. I didn't get home until crazy late for a school night, it took me much time to pry their little fingers off. It is an amazing human condition, I love it. I've lost count of the number of people who farewell lunches I've been to, who I've accidentally found out how totally awesome they are, and totally absolutely become their best friend hours before they race off to the world unknown.

I know you were concerned.
I don't think I was going to pull it off, but I think I might actually manage to finish all the work I hadn't gotten around to do the last six months. Light. Tunnel. See.

2+2=4.
Working off Nails last comment, that both Sydney and Melbourne are very, very, very passoniate about living either in the East or the West of the city. People who live in Sydney and Melbourne's eastern suburbs are exactly the same, as are those in the Western Suburbs. So, does Adelaide or Perth have the same passion? What about American cities? Is it totally East vs West, or is it the whole downtown, uptown thing?

Discombobulated.
Anyway, I'm not even going to pretend those questions are important, the important question is, what would you do if you were unemployed next week with no financial need to find work for a bit. Ponder that mothersunners!

This just in.

Check this:

Sydney in desperate bid to retain Ambassador of Awesome

Upon news that Ambassador Adam, is planning on leaving Sydney for his home, Sydney has up'd the ante. Sydneysiders have enjoyed unseasonable hot weather while Melbourne shivers in the gloom on mid-winter. Clearly, this hot weather is a desperate attempt to remind Adam what he's leaving.














Taken near Adam's residence.















Note glistening water. Note, mothersunners!!

Sunning himself, Adam said, "Yeah, [Sydney] has put on an awesome show, do you reckon it's just for me, that's hardcore?"
Admittedly, this reporter finds herself in a flutter finding Adam is charming, modest and the expected superhot.
"Well, imagine the weather Melbourne will chuck on when I rock back, poor Melbournians, they are all cold and grumpy, hopefully I can fix that."
Adam will be finding out this time next week whether his home town can deliver the goods as well as it's northern brother, but is he having second thoughts?
"I moved up here to repair damaged interstate relations, and in that goal, I believe I have succeeded, it's time for me to go back..... but this weather....."

A spokeperson for Sydney's weather said "yeah, we've been trying our darnest, we've pulled out the best weather in the last 6 months that Sydney's ever seen, but that Adam, he's a stubborn little bugger."

I'm totally enjoying this sojourn through the blogosphere. While I'm excellent at smalltalk, I've always been totally, rockingly disinterested in it. I'm far more interested in the bits that make up someone's character. The heartbreaking and excitable stories of self that go into explaining to some degree who someone is.

The whole blogger thing introduces people and their deepness. I don't get much deepness from those at work, or the people I've met at Salsa or even my housemates. My closest friends share deepness when the mood takes us and I love them for that.

Some people have used their blog to share their secrets, to get out in writing the important and scary bits that make up their character. Clearly badness has happened to everyone and it's inspiring to read it. I heart it.

Badness has happened to everyone..... except me.

I kid you not.

I've never grieved, I've gotten every job I've chased, all of our friends seem crazy-love-tangled and our relationship helps show the kids how it's done, my career has reached heights I wasn't aware of and just kind of fell into, I make friends super-easily and everything, everything big or small always works out for me. Everything, it's bizarre.

I'm not trying to brag, are you ready for the ridiculous part?

Sometimes I feel guilty.

A Brief Discussion on Politics, Religion, World Events, Environmental Concerns, Heartache, Public and Community Health Concerns, Misunderstandings

A man walks into a bar....... ouch.

Failings of a security guard

a. Can you drive a car?
b. Can you enter a building via a revolving door?

If there is a man sharing the revolving door wedge with me knocks his head a few times and actually panics before getting to the other side. If said man then asks a security guard if the place that says "drivers licence testing" is the place to get his licence. If all this happens, should the security guard politely direct the man to his destination?

I vote no.
If you can't get into a building, you aren't allowed to drive a car. Simple rule.

Post of quickness

Why should a feminine mythical adelaidian hit Melbourne?

This post relates to the last comment in the last post (unless someone else commented afterwards, then you'll just have to figure it the hell out.)

Melbourne has many things to offer the young mythical creatures of yore.

• Melbourne is reputed the world over to have the best live band scene. This is undisputed and not up for discusssion.
• Melbourne also has a stupid, crazy big dance scene. Melbourians apparently had a unique and super attractive dance style but I wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't stolen BY THE REST OF THE ENTIRE WORLD!
• Melbourne imports good red wine.
• The lady about town has many areas to explore until she finds an area that really speaks to her. Chapel St for keeping up with the latest fashion bizarreness. Brunswick St for awesomeness. Greville st for clothes fashion expensiveness. Lygon St for pizza/pasta/coffee. Colins St for expense. Fitzroy St for walking. Acland St for the clothes/cake combo. Victoria market for yelling and spanish buskers. Elizabeth St for cameras, motorbikes and being asked for money and Chadstone, well, some girls seem to like it.
• No matter what you love, there is a nightspot for you.
• You will never be bored. Sleep is only ever a last resort.
• Everyone in Melbourne are surprisingly attractive, even in winter! (There are fugly people but we've recently built up some suburbs out of the way for them)
• Melbourne houses the hottness and funness that is Adam.

Today + One Fortnight = Goodbye Sydney

If I can't be bothered organising farewell drinks here, can I expect everyone here to fly to Melbourne for the Welcome Home Party that has already been organised?

Getting down with Greenpeace

Check it homies, tonight I'm totally rocking to a Greenpeace meeting......


Why?

The world is getting a bit crap, and I wanted to hang with some people that were passionate about something bigger than their own lives.


Leaving Sydney Soon?

Yup, this is a totally good chance to check them out, with a totally valid reason for blowing out if they turn out to be crazy, cultish, overly hippyish, etc.

If they are cool, then I can rock along to the Melbourne Greenpeace thing with a clue on what I'm getting into.


What can I do?

Well, the information night I went to seemed a bit antiquated and slightly unprofessional and unenthusiastic. I've got some good ideas to improve the ways they operate and to maximise their impacts. Also, I might want to rock in and play devils advocate to make sure their stuff is clued up.


Chances of dressing up as something?

99.9% chance of dressing up as a chicken, barrel of toxic waste, etc. Good times ahead my friend, good times.


Chances of being arrested?

Pretty freakin' good the dude reckons. Not sure how I feel about that. I'm all in for saving the world, but since I contract and change jobs all the time I need to maintain a 'no blips on the radar'. I've got a head for planning, but a head for excitement.... we'll have to see how this goes.


Why do they drink so much?

For some reason, the average Action =

1. saving the world
2. opening some tinnies/going down the pub


Why so few volunteers?

They currently have 20 active volunteers in the Sydney local group. I think its because they ask for a fair amount of commitment from their volunteers. This is something I intend to change, it seems silly to have such a massive turnover when everyone wants to help in some manner.


Will I totally put my back into it, then get enthused about something else and move on?

Maybe.

Death by Documentation

The race is on peeps.
3 weeks left in Sydney, my wing is up for rent in the papers, the flights are booked..... and my manager is hardcore freaking out. He wants all this boring policy documentation completed before I leave. It could be totally doable, except it is so godawful boring that I find my mind flipping within mini-micro seconds of looking at it.
Internet beware, I may become crazy annoying for the next couple of weeks.

The London thing

September 911 didn't affect my life too much. It was terrible, and I watched all the footage and talked about it but it didn't really have an effect on my daily life.

This London thing turned my apartment into a bit of a communication centre last night. Both my housemates have a sibling each working in London. The female housemate's brother works in the area of the first bomb blast but was already well at work by 9am. He was able to squeeze off an sms before mobile communication struggled and gave up the ghost. My male housemate lost it. He totally freaked out that he hadn't heard anything from his sister. He was well on the verge of outright panic. We told him a heap of times that it was crazy hard to get messages out but he just kept getting more and more worried. Evenutally we found out that his sister had to wait in a line to use a telephone. Each person was only able to ring one person - which is totally fair enough. He was relieved hearing that, but not at all settled. I've never seen anyone just dissolve into panic like that before.

Strangely, no one at work has mentioned it all day. After September 11, it was all anyone could talk about. No one really worked, we just kept checking out the news on the internet. The reaction hasn't been the same at all, no one is surprised and it feels like no one feels safe anymore and the best way to tackle that is to not think or talk about it. It's all a bit surreal.

I'm nervous. Not because I fear for my safety, but because I don't really know where the world goes from here.

He's on Your Computer

Hi, is the chief contributor to the www.postmoronic.blogspot.com publication? How are you today?

Hi! Yes, you've totally reached the source of this 'river of facts / information'. I'm quite chipper today on account of recent events throughout the world. Also I've just received a cheque for like, One Hundred Dollars.


Can I open with asking you, are you the realness?

Holy Shit, this is a really Hard Hitting Interview! I am filled with respect for your Journalism at this point, but also conflicted because I am contractually obliged by Law to say that Jeff Probst is the realness (Contract Expiry Date January 1 2007 <---- I AM SO HANGING FOR THAT DATE).


Are you okay with being on the receiving end of the questions today?

It's something quite different, which helps to put things in perspective. I'm pretty fucking calm about it but also excited / really thinking hard about the Answers.


You main job is Being a Journalist, but your 'time out' is also Journalism, that's pretty hardcore. Do you like posting articles on IOYC because it means you can get to the real stories without being Edited, bad language removed, stolen, etc?

It's almost like Journalism is in my blood and therefore oozing out of all my pores all the time (eg a Stench). In that sense, it's not even a choice to do Journalism in my 'leisure hours'. Of course it's nice to be able to Self-Publish without a fucking Sub-Editor over my shoulder screaming "Please Insert A Paragraph Mark In Accordance With The Style Guide!!!!". This shit happens so much it's a wonder nobody has been killed from Anger.


Are you aware that many of your readers have adopted your style of English?

Are you suggesting that I might 'be the most Profound Influence of English Literature in This or Any Other Century'?? Dude that's flattering but also so much responsibility, boy am I sweating a little bit right now (not due to Heat, but Pressure etc).


Did you ever get to kick Slipnot the hell out of your house, or did you move into the Windmill to get away from them?

Those idiots are still in my old House, working on a 'multimedia project' or some shit. I've seen the draft version, what a Joke! I think it's the end for Slipknot, time to 'put them out of their Misery' (Involuntary Euthanasia for Slipknot). It's much calmer in the Windmill, only the constant drone of rotating blades, crushing sense of isolation and impending doom etc. ie 'The Perfect Working Environment'.


I read a lot of stuff, but I learn most from your publication, what do your readers have to do to get you internationally acclaimed?

I really thank many Readers who have done ill Shit in relation to promoting my Web Page, but there's still so many markets to crack! I might need to employ a Strategist, do you think this is a good Strategy (Holy Shit - Circular reasoning!!). In essence I suppose the thing to do is force everyone to read it and become more informed. Like a Campaign.


When you become famous, are you scheduled to forget about us?

Probably! (LOL)
No, I'm just joking. How is my warped Sense of Humour, making a joke about forgetting Readers. I hope it's not too traumatising to make light of that shit.


Who won the door?

The door is not yet won. Do you know how long it is taking me to get through all the Entries, such good quality Entries. You might shit yourself if you found out how long it is taking (due to being Blown Away).


I'm sorry that some of your readers (myself included) jumped to the Wrong Conclusion and thought the world was going to end. That was weeks ago and everything seems fine, should we breathe a sign of relief?

I think it's safe to say everything will be an Awesome Utopia from here on in. ("BUT WHAT ABOUT EROSION, SAMPRAS ON THE LOOSE, SLIME MOLDS"). Tralalala.


Are you going to write an expose in book form? My coffee table is all set for such a book.

Haha! I would love to write the biggest Book ever, but who would publish such a Publication (it's against so many people's interest to be Exposed for Frauds and Corruption etc). Maybe I can handwrite it like the Gutenberg Bible. It's one of my favourite books and in many ways a Total Influence / 'I Just Copied That Shit'.


What is next on the horizon?

Financially, I'm looking at Investment, in Shops and a Car Manufacturer. Journalism wise my plate is so full! Stories on Actuaries, Cross-Country Skiing, Envelopes, woah 'You name it'. Personally I am trying to improve my fitness with Exercise and also just 'lead a fulfilling life'. I think it's going pretty well, all things considered.


Thanks for your time! You are quite an amazing young man/lady!

It's been so Pleasurable! Thankyou for conducting such a dope Interview, it really warms my Heart to see practitioners of Good Journalism going about their business. I'd like to give a massive shout out to all Readers of the Internet, to say 'good job of Reading'.

Now I'm off to see a short work of Dance in an Auditorium (ie 'fulfilling life' as previously etc).

Bye!

Hotness + Wetness = Mermaid Girl

Why hello there, is this the downright hotness that is Mermaid Girl from www.mermaidgirl2005.blogspot.com? How are you today?

Fabulous thank you, as today was the reurn of my lover Q, after a month's absence from my bed!


So, I've come on to your blog really late, could you give us a little background on your story?

My blog is the story of my love affair with a married man, with the setting of our respective marriages, the moments our lives intertwine and of course the down right dirty sex!


Is ST and Q the same person?

Lol...yes, that was always going to be confusing for readers! I started off calling him ST, then when I let him read my blog, he requested the name Q. I told him you can't change the characters of a story, but he wore me down!


The photos on your blog are really good. The lighting is awesome, is your friend a real hot photographer or are you just a good model?

My fabulous photographer friend is just a happy snapper, so it was the combination of me being a natural exhibitionist and taking thirty photo's before I was happy with three of them!


Did the photos change? What happened to that original one? I thought that one was the best.

So did I! I posted it, then got cold feet, thinking someone might recognise where they were taken. The limitations of a guilty conscience! That one was Q's favourite too, he said it was a "come and fuck me right here right now, on this table" photo.


You are providing a great insight into the female mind, did you intend to provide boys like myself a bit of a clue?

That's just a bonus! I started writing just as an outlet for myself, then when I started getting feedback I recognised how a lot of males simply aren't aware of things that females take for granted and a lot of the time this is because no-one has ever told them. Assumption can be a powerful tool in the break down of communication.


What is your favourite bit about boys?

Hehe...are we talking physically or something else? My favourite part of the male body is actually his hips, I love how it curves around and if you run your tongue down it, you reach the end of the rainbow. The first thing I look at when meeting a guy is his fingers, I love the look of long artistic fingers. Mentally I need someone who is my intellectual equal, boring guys with hot bodies only last so long, then you start to carve mental stimulation.


Even in the short time I've been reading, the number of readers have increased dramatically, do you like being popular?

Doesn't everyone?! Seriously, I had no idea that people would find my blog interesting, let alone come back and actually leave comments. Although the increasing number of readers is an ego boost, it's the feedback and the realisation that you aren't the only person going through the same situation and feeling the same crazy emotions, that makes this all worthwhile.


Some of your biggest supporters seem to be ladies, do you know any of your readers in your 'non-blog life'?

Not one single one, which is how it will remain. The effectiveness of blogging and the appeal factor is in the sheer anonymity of it. You have the freedom of expression without the fear of potential repercussions, which allows you to be brutally honest with yourself and your feelings.


Which state of Australia are you in?

Lol...that would be telling...I feel the country is small enough as it is, at times!


Your blog is totally open and honest, is it a means of emotional release for you?

Totally, within the context of having an affair and the limitations it brings, you don't have the luxury of being about the talk to friends to help you rationalise etc, so the experiences, the newness and the unknown can be overwhelming. Being able to blog, has allowed me to release all these thoughts and emotions, which has freed me up to be able to take that much needed step back and take a long hard look at where I am going with this. Sometimes you need to be impartial, which is always difficult when you are in the middle of the emotional rollercoaster called life.


Thanks Mermaid Girl, you are the awesome! Do you have any words to leave us by?

At the end of each day have no regrets, embrace life and take chances. Appreciate your friends, they are an invaluable lifeline in this world. And lastly...never swallow on an empty stomach!