He's on Your Computer

Hi, is the chief contributor to the www.postmoronic.blogspot.com publication? How are you today?

Hi! Yes, you've totally reached the source of this 'river of facts / information'. I'm quite chipper today on account of recent events throughout the world. Also I've just received a cheque for like, One Hundred Dollars.


Can I open with asking you, are you the realness?

Holy Shit, this is a really Hard Hitting Interview! I am filled with respect for your Journalism at this point, but also conflicted because I am contractually obliged by Law to say that Jeff Probst is the realness (Contract Expiry Date January 1 2007 <---- I AM SO HANGING FOR THAT DATE).


Are you okay with being on the receiving end of the questions today?

It's something quite different, which helps to put things in perspective. I'm pretty fucking calm about it but also excited / really thinking hard about the Answers.


You main job is Being a Journalist, but your 'time out' is also Journalism, that's pretty hardcore. Do you like posting articles on IOYC because it means you can get to the real stories without being Edited, bad language removed, stolen, etc?

It's almost like Journalism is in my blood and therefore oozing out of all my pores all the time (eg a Stench). In that sense, it's not even a choice to do Journalism in my 'leisure hours'. Of course it's nice to be able to Self-Publish without a fucking Sub-Editor over my shoulder screaming "Please Insert A Paragraph Mark In Accordance With The Style Guide!!!!". This shit happens so much it's a wonder nobody has been killed from Anger.


Are you aware that many of your readers have adopted your style of English?

Are you suggesting that I might 'be the most Profound Influence of English Literature in This or Any Other Century'?? Dude that's flattering but also so much responsibility, boy am I sweating a little bit right now (not due to Heat, but Pressure etc).


Did you ever get to kick Slipnot the hell out of your house, or did you move into the Windmill to get away from them?

Those idiots are still in my old House, working on a 'multimedia project' or some shit. I've seen the draft version, what a Joke! I think it's the end for Slipknot, time to 'put them out of their Misery' (Involuntary Euthanasia for Slipknot). It's much calmer in the Windmill, only the constant drone of rotating blades, crushing sense of isolation and impending doom etc. ie 'The Perfect Working Environment'.


I read a lot of stuff, but I learn most from your publication, what do your readers have to do to get you internationally acclaimed?

I really thank many Readers who have done ill Shit in relation to promoting my Web Page, but there's still so many markets to crack! I might need to employ a Strategist, do you think this is a good Strategy (Holy Shit - Circular reasoning!!). In essence I suppose the thing to do is force everyone to read it and become more informed. Like a Campaign.


When you become famous, are you scheduled to forget about us?

Probably! (LOL)
No, I'm just joking. How is my warped Sense of Humour, making a joke about forgetting Readers. I hope it's not too traumatising to make light of that shit.


Who won the door?

The door is not yet won. Do you know how long it is taking me to get through all the Entries, such good quality Entries. You might shit yourself if you found out how long it is taking (due to being Blown Away).


I'm sorry that some of your readers (myself included) jumped to the Wrong Conclusion and thought the world was going to end. That was weeks ago and everything seems fine, should we breathe a sign of relief?

I think it's safe to say everything will be an Awesome Utopia from here on in. ("BUT WHAT ABOUT EROSION, SAMPRAS ON THE LOOSE, SLIME MOLDS"). Tralalala.


Are you going to write an expose in book form? My coffee table is all set for such a book.

Haha! I would love to write the biggest Book ever, but who would publish such a Publication (it's against so many people's interest to be Exposed for Frauds and Corruption etc). Maybe I can handwrite it like the Gutenberg Bible. It's one of my favourite books and in many ways a Total Influence / 'I Just Copied That Shit'.


What is next on the horizon?

Financially, I'm looking at Investment, in Shops and a Car Manufacturer. Journalism wise my plate is so full! Stories on Actuaries, Cross-Country Skiing, Envelopes, woah 'You name it'. Personally I am trying to improve my fitness with Exercise and also just 'lead a fulfilling life'. I think it's going pretty well, all things considered.


Thanks for your time! You are quite an amazing young man/lady!

It's been so Pleasurable! Thankyou for conducting such a dope Interview, it really warms my Heart to see practitioners of Good Journalism going about their business. I'd like to give a massive shout out to all Readers of the Internet, to say 'good job of Reading'.

Now I'm off to see a short work of Dance in an Auditorium (ie 'fulfilling life' as previously etc).

Bye!