So a while back, let's call it "Monday", I went to the funeral of that uncle I was talking about earlier. It was really good, way more people than I expected rocked up and the eulogy was nice. They basically omitted the last 40 years he spent in a drunken haze and focused on the good bits. I totally thought it was a job well done.

I got totally caned by all family members for only ever seeing them at funerals, but that's another story.

As part of the funeral, the family put 3 objects on his coffin, as a symbol of his life.

1. A pair of pliers to represent his career as an Electrical Engineer. (P.S - I never knew this bit)

2. A billard triangle ball setting up thing to represent his love of billards and pool (and only reference the whole day that he may have spent decades in a bar).

3. His Melbourne Football Club scarf.

I did like his funeral thing, it made me very much think about my own life and how I would what it all summed up. Who would rock up? Who should I be better friends to in this life that is oh so short?

So, it got me thinking about 3 objects that would sum up my passions or 3 symbols of my life. What would I want there versus what would the people involved put there?
I reckon, left upto family we'd find a camera, a laptop and a pair of dancing shoes mainly because these are the things all close and distant family members ask me about every time. 'Are you still taking nice photos, how's work, are you still dancing?'
We'd struggle with Cara because she said she wanted three different albums of Radiohead, but I reckon she'd end up with a piano, a rhodes keyboard and a microphone balanced precariously up there.

So, what 3 items would I want?I really would like the camera, because I really am stupidly into taking nice photos and I think about it a lot.

Apart from that, I'm not sure.
A laptop certainly defines my life to a degree, but I'm not sure if that's a lasting image I want to leave.

I love people, but it seems a bit rough to make some peeps stand on up there in front of everyone.

I've always loved movement of body and hence always been excited about martial arts and dancing and other such movement intensive activities but hows does that translate into an object.

A motorbike helmet? I'm not obsessed about bikes at all, I know very little about them, it's just a form of transport for me that everyone else is excited about for me.

No clues.

It's not really important, I don't intend to go out in a blaze of glory for at least another 253 years, but, dear reader, are there any three objects that sum you up? Could my questions be any harder?

My favourite band today is called Sons and Daughters.

Farewell Spanish Class, I will try to always remember you (especially when I'm in Central America trying to, you know, communicate).

Thus ends an era of my life, the 8 Weeks of Spanish Lessons era. I probably had the worst pronounciation in the whole class and potentially the worst memory for words, but I put my heart and soul into that thing. I totally studied at least once. Totally.

Things I'll always remember:
1.) 'Lo sienta mucho'. I'm very sorry for your loss. If there is a funeral, the grieving family must feed the entire village and any visitors. Apparently the same applies for Weddings, but the food is often better at the funerals.

2.) 'Calle'. Pronounced Caj-eh. Means 'Street'. I will always remember this because my tutor threatened to kill me when I asked what it meant.

3.) You will insult everyone in a Spanish resturant by yelling out 'Tia Buena' in the same manner that the people from work taught you. Apparently it is an impolite slang call cat used mainly by construction workers.

4.) The answers to the homework are in the back of the book.

5.) 'Hola', 'Adios'. I forget the rest.

On the weekend, one of my friends who works at a circus school (you heard me right, circus school) invited everyone to see their end of year performance.

Holy Mother of Mercy and Stuff!!

Those kids were unfreakin'believeable. Which clearly, you'd expect, being a circus school and all. There was like, I dunno, fifty kids all kamakazi somersaulting at each other, and holding up 12 other kids and flying through the air and balancing on ridiculous impossible to balance on things and juggling and magic and stuff. They were pretty professional and a bit freaky and stuff.

The way if affected me though, is that times I've felt something is too hard or whatever is me just being lazy. Some of the things these kids do is almost straight up impossible, but because they've worked at it and obsessed over it, they're amazing.

I was totally impressed by their dedication and perfection of craft and totally want to be like them. Not in the bouncing through the air while carrying 56 people and pulling magic flowers out of every which way, but totally dedicating myself to being brilliant at something.

Except, I'm not sure what I want to be brilliant at....

........ maybe I could just be the best darn travelling guy there ever was. Guess I should totally find out where it is I'm going.

I've just agreed to go to someone's hens night and teach the hens to dance dirty dancing style at the time that I was supposed to watch the chick sing at the Carols by Candlelight.

I'm going to do both, but I'm going to be in so much trouble.

Uncle Paul

My Dad told me that Uncle Paul has been given a month to live.

Uncle Paul was doing alright for himself at one point, so I'm told.
However, for my entire life he has always been the weird uncle who lived in the bungalow at my grandparents place. He was an alcoholic and not real trustworthy. Seemed to constantly frustrate the rest of the family as he'd get himself into trouble and need rescuing, heirlooms and furniture would disappear, would promise to be at things and never show, lost his car
licence a million times. Never married, living off disability, he was one of those scary old dudes who spent their days in the pub.

To me, he is a man who took his life and completely wasted it. I completely understand that alcoholism isn't a choice. At a simple level alcoholism can be an allergy. Your body is allergic to a food type and craves it.

At a more complex level, it is a part of ones personality. An addictive personality where you obsess over something and your brain tells you that you need it - the fight against that is a constant battle, a struggle fought random minutes when the brain is not focused on anything else.

At an even more complex level it's a sickness, as illogical and hard to comprehend as eating disorders. I don't know much about that side of it.
Actually, I'm not sure if any of this is accurate, it's just what I've been told.

The thing is that I have similar allergies to Brandy that my uncle has and I know for sure that I have an addictive personality that I try very hard (and not always successfully) to control.

My uncle has served as a living reminder to what could happen if I let myself go. Sometimes I feel like the easiest and funnest thing in the world would be to waste myself all the way up and stay there but the image of the scary, dishevelled, complete mess of a man snaps everything back.

It's the pity and frustration in the way everyone talks down to him that keeps me good.

I don't have any spare life to waste.

I'm sorry your life turned out the way it did but I will hold onto your memory. I'm sorry it's for the wrong reasons.

Goodbye Uncle Paul.

I'm not scared of Steph (but I am of Auburn)

1. What did you do in 2005 that you hadn't done before?

Lived interstate for 6 months. I've lived in New Zealand for 5 weeks a few years ago, but 6 months is a way long time.

Met people from the world of blog.

Not fallen off a motorbike.

Set up my own photographic studio.

Had a 3 year anniversary.


2. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Oh my god, yes, first time in my life that people I actually hang out with now have babies. Two families way close in the past 3 months have made the bump into a baby. I still haven't visited one family yet despite them living 5 minutes from my house.


3. Did anyone close to you die?

No, no one.


4. Did you travel? Where did you go? Best holiday memory?

No, only travelled between Sydney and Melbourne a million kabillion times.
I may have mentioned hitting Central American in January next year though.


5. Best thing you bought?

2005 was the year of the Bunnings and the Ikea.
I really needed to fit out the house with some storage solutions because we have so much freakin' stuff. Things are looking good now. I didn't really buy anything else special.


6. Where did most of your money go?

I earnt more than ever this year (tax breaks for working interstate were mad) but have not saved at all really. Most of my cash goes towards food, entertainment, the chick and the trip.


7. What do you wish you had done more of?

I wish I had actually done some good work this year, I really don't think I've added any value to either company I've worked for this year.

I also feel like I've been searching for some good, close friends this year. I feel like I've made new friends but I still haven't found what I'm looking for.


8. What do you wish you had done less of?

Sat around at work completely bored out of my brain feeling like I should be creating pointless tasks for myself.


9. What kept you sane?

You, the people. Thank you all freakin' heaps for getting me through the days/daze.


10. What drove you mad?

The young lady in Artarmon (Sydney) I moved in with for 3 months. It was not a relaxing time. The couple that I moved in with in Erskineville (Sydney) for the remainder were way totally grouse!


11. What made you celebrate?

The anniversary of the 3 years.


12. What made you sad?

Moving interstate, living in a place I wasn't comfortable, having no money and being the loneliest I've ever been. Once cash started flowing again and work kids started being fun I had a ball, but it took a long, long time. The chick and I nearly broke up a few times during my interstate stint. We're the best we've ever been now.


13. How was your birthday this year?

A non-event. Last year I had a surprise party which was superfun and totally touching. I didn't want to do anything this year because it could never come as close in funness.


14. What political issue stirred you the most this year?

The total potential scariness of the IR reforms. They don't actually effect me whatsoever but all my friends who have lower skilled jobs are going to be in big, big trouble.


15. Were you in love in 2005?

Yes. Yes I am. Thanks for asking.


16. What would you like to have in 2006 that you didn't have this year?

Actual cash saved, I think I need to start being an adult about something.

An awesome collection of awesome photos. Awesome.

A contract/work that I've been proud of.

A best friend.


17. What date from 2005 will be etched in your memory and why?

Dec 4th 2005. 27 Question RockQuiz.


18. What song will remind you of 2005?

A song from Martha Wainright whose title has a freakin' heap of the swears.

A duet from The Dears.

Any song from the acoustic album from the Foo Fighters.

That one song from Franz Ferniand.

That one song from Jose Gonzalez.

Any song from the Art Brut album. I love those crazy kids.


19. Compared to this time last year are you happier?

Yes.


20. Biggest achievement this year?

Finally taking some almost professional photos of a wedding, some models, some bands and a fairy.


21. Biggest disappointment this year?

I never, ever thought that I could let myself get as emotionally lonely as I did when I first went to Sydney. I was not in a happy place even though I really, really wanted to be.


22. What is the one thing that would have made you more satisfied?

A trip to the snow.


23. Best new person you met this year?

I met some really, really good people this year but I'd have to say young Renae from Sydney.


24. A valuable life lesson you learnt this year?

This year I've actually felt myself getting older but I've also learnt that it just means you have to get more hardcore to fight that sucker (especially when you're too tired to.)

Oh Mr Bevis, what have you done?

A big massive thankyouness must go to the young BEVIS for setting an excellent example in birthdaypresenting. And then writing about that example in such a way as to inspire other young men to follow in his footsteps.

My story begins many months ago when young Bevis wrote details of the trickery, presents and overall funness of the birthday gift giving process with his wife. This was, I believe in loving revenge for her efforts earlier. So, then my story jumps from many months ago to Saturday. I rang the chick once I got home from Sydney (p.s - Community Service Announcement - hey y'all don't fly hungover) while she was having her birthday lunch with
her family and accidentally gave her the impression that I still had to purchase a birthday present. There was no time though, so she mistakenly got the impression that I might have to head out early Sunday morning to get her something, but quickly though, because we had a birthday bbq to prepare for.

Fade out, fade in Sunday Morning soundasleepers, alarm going off.
"Ah, good morning young lady"
"Good morning baby and ..."
"..."
"oh yeah, happy birthday!"
Cue huggin'.
"Would you like your birthday present?"
Cue shy head noddin' plus smilin'.
I reach down to my side of the bed, rustle some stuff..
"oh, um, actually I've still got to wrap a bit, do you want to go to the toilet first?"
"OHMIGODYES! I'm so busting!" (Girls are so so so predictable)

"I'm coming back in now" says the chick.
"Come into the living room" says the dude (ie, me).

The chick rocks in and stops at the door, stunned at the setup.
Mood lighting. Check.
Secluded area set up for Adam to sit behind. Check.
Beanbag for Cara. Check.

And thus started the rock quiz.
Being a rockstar, the girl loves music trivia. Psychotically loves.

27 questions. One present per question.
The QuizMaster was harsh, yelling simply "incorrect" every time her answer slightly varied from the actual answer.
She did alright, 19 correct.
Lifting the incorrect presents above my secluded area I gave her a choice.
She could be asked the questions again and any she got wrong would be given to her for Christmas or she could take the Ug boots provided and do a nudie run out to the back fence and back in 30 seconds. She got back at 29 and three quarters.

Then it was a festival of ripped wrapping paper and excited girl squealing.
There was an assortment of cds, dvds, books, vouchers, sleepware and travel thingimigies. Freakin' heaps of excitement.

The birthday bbq provided some happy smiley laughing people and some more present goodness, the girl was spoilt something chronic - she had a very excellent day. Happy Birthday chicka.

I'd like to apologise to customers on the 3rd floor of the Sydney Central Hotel on Wentworth who may have been woken up at 6am on a Saturday morning by a way hungover dude muttering, wrapping paper scissors cutting and sticky tape unfurling.
I very appreciate your restraint.