The deadliest of all shoe securing systems.
If there is any one type of person who is totally ruining the whole world completely singlehandedly, it's people who put effort into things.
If people didn't get all crazy and accomplishary, we could all just lie around getting drunk and reading half written trashy novels. Guilt of winning the rat race would be banished to the past and the world would be super good full of rainbows and deep fried cheese sandwiches.
Since I like to declare war on familes/individuals of effort, the first on my hit list for people I'd push to the ground if they were standing right in front of me kind of already leaning forward is Ian.
Reading this website soon left me as dead as a door. The autopsy found the cause down to an overdose on shoelaces with suspect traces of knots. My corpse was in need of a massive massage bigtime.
Ian, dude, just so you know, that's a lot of effort in website designs and also graphics just to achieve your lifelong dream of hanging out with that quite replaced Superman actor to see if we believe it or not. I'd just put scorpions in my mouth and call it a day.
Additionally, if there is one thing I just won't stand for is people using maths. If the Brothers Grimm taught us anything it's that heroic characters scoff at dudes who count the total number of variations of tying one shoe.
Feet Escapees : 0. Shoe Prison : 2 Trillion.
War and rising from the dead has given me a pain in the head, time to ingest a heron.
posted by Adam @ 2:58 PM
17 comments
17 Comments:
Now that I have seen Ian's beard, it all makes sense.
After all, some one with that kind of facial hair has undoubtedly put YEARS into this system, ever since that unfortunate incident when his desert boots got caught up in his green explorer socks in 1977.
There are surely better things to do with the internet. Alien conspiracy theories, for one.
Maybe because of the beard, for years he was unable to look down and see the laces to tie. He had to do it all by touch like a blind man. Poor Ian.
I like your thinking.
Especially the part about lying around and getting drunk.
Sign me up!
Are my eyes deceiving me? (They are trying to sell me a used car with -0009kms on the clock).
Are you both being full of sympathy for the inventor of the Ian Knot - The Worlds Fastest Shoe Tying Knot?
Cam the Surfer, I signed you up to the Cult of Drinking And Also Lying (around). Hope that's okay.
Knots are a serious business. If you were as accident prone as i am, you would appreciate the importance of well tied shoe laces. Fact.
I think we've discovered a whole new category of 'nerd'.
the last time i tied shoes up, i enjoyed working my way up the crossing things, tightening them. with this new invention, i can't do that.
i don't like it
but i do like watermelon
I went into Ian's site with an open mind, and when I saw the section that promised I would never have a shoelace come untied again I was elated!!
Silly ol' me was thinking "That Adam, how could he discount such a wonderful plethora of valueable information?!"
And then I read that section for 10 whole minutes. A little part of me has died inside. Especially when I saw that Ian invented his own knot and called it the "Ian Knot".
Dear god.
The only pair of shoes I own which require any sort of complicated fastening are my gym shoes (which needless to say aren't used frequently).
Being a bit of a dirty hippy inside, I hate having my feet entirely confined so the entire concept of shoe laces which are difficult, or even impossible to loosen quickly and easily rocks me to my very core.
It's not my cup of tea but I hope the site has been useful to others, Ian's obviously put a lot of effort into it, especially the color coded diagrams.
I like the way there are two subsections under the "Shoelace Tips" section.
Not sure if it's because he enjoys the tasty double entendre, or because he doesn't want some poor person to get confused...
Adam - you really do need some work to do!!
...and when the frick did I become "Aussie"??? What happened to the "Rock Chick" part?? Damn blogger, go away for three days and come back a different person...
not only has your name gone, i can't view your profile. which means i can't read your blog. and i want to...
OMG! Blogger has swallowed Aussie Rock Chick! This is awful!
Should we rise up as one and overthrow the dark overlords? Adam can be our leader. We could form a bloggers union.
get with the times meva... unions are dead!
a thing of the past.
just like coal power and country towns and rivers
I don't know what you are complaining about!!
Everyone that I have show that site to thinks it rocks the house down!!
I love it and think that there should be more of this type of wholesome thing on the internerd and less Dirty Dirty Pron!
I wish that I had a knot named after me!!! It would be the NAT KNOT!!
How could you Knot luv that??
oh noes that pun sucked bad!
OMG I have been waiting for someone to point out the fucking unbelievable excess of dirty dirty prawns on the internetz.
LET THE CRUSTACEANS FUCK IN PEACE.
xoxo nora
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