Massive Update (with unnecessary sensationalising)

So, I've been at work for the last three (3) days and I've achieved many things:

(a) Thought about a small, tiny person covered in hair with a tail that I would like to cuddle.

(b) Watched a dude of drunk be nice to an 80 year old lady at the traffic lights <-- didn't wait around to see if he scored.

(c) Ate a protein, a fish and a dead cucumber.

(d) Stared at a windows both old fashioned and technological.

(e) Yours is the only version of my diversion that I could ever subscribe to, etc.

(f) Got another haircut, hair is such a stupid.

(g) Banished 'coins' and 'currency' from my vocab/country.

(h) Put the words 'necrophilia party lolz' in a friend's wedding vows.

(i) Became Learned of Dance Moves from Fergie.

That's it.
You can see that no keywords such as 'work' or 'worked like a muthafreakin hoe(tm)' were a feature presentation and so now I am simultaneously bored and PACKING IT.

Why, oh why, did I do no works and now have heaps of works to do and will have all sorts of peeps/corporate directors saying 'Whoa! Freakin'! Show us your presents/spreadsheets' and I will have to start a veritible avalanche of excuses with 'I need a hero, where have all the good men gone?'.

Please advise.
Signed,
Freaked.