Umbrella Usage for the common man (nb: can also be used by a chick(s))

We here at Not Going Nowhere do understand that water falling from the sky is a bit freaky and thusly you might be a bit stressed when encountering such natural disasters. We have compiled some tips to help you get through;

1.) Understand and accept that walking in the rain may result in some getting wet. You cannot protect your entire personage and all your belongings - as such, take a step or two away from the bus before opening your umbrella. The people behind will thank you for it/keep their eyesight.

2.) If you are riding a bicycle, an umbrella might not be for you.... maybe a raincoat? If you do insist on holding an umbrella while riding, maybe don't then also answer your mobile phone.

3.) Dude, it is pretty funny to your mates when you stick your head under other peoples umbrellas at the traffic lights. They do find it funnier though, when the new mother who is already freaked about her pram getting wet screeches at you. Please provide an excuse better than 'I was just joking.'

4.) If you don't know what the back of your umbrella is doing, it might be too big for you. Also, if you do need to turn around, possibly raise the umbrella and rotate underneath instead of turning the umbrella with you and taking out a small family.

5.) Learn to drive your umbrella, face the top of it into the wind. If your umbrella blows out, pull over to the side of the footpath to repair. Do not flail. Do not hit passing cyclists (their balance is already restricted due to own umbrella wind issues and untimely phone calls).

6.) If you can't drive an umbrella without gouging fellow pedistrians, wear a raincoat/stay home.

7.) If it is raining, you simply cannot ride a skateboard. When you do, we all hope your tailbone heals up nice.