Suggested topics!

Whoa! You kids are crazy, love your work. Alrighty, here goes:

Borings places {as suggested by Robbie Disco}

There are many, many boring places that I intend never to visit both in Australia and abroad. One of these is called Taralagon and it is country Victoria, Australia. I've known a few people that have spent time there and don't intend to go back, but there are more reasons that just boringness that I don't intend to visit. It's where my Mum has moved to. I still haven't really forgiven her for her craziness and manipulation while I was growing up and I'm at a point where I'm just not interested in putting too much effort in, she desperately wants my attention now which freaks me a little. Don't get me wrong, I'm still fine to hang out and at big family events I'd still rather hang with her than the others, but going to Taralagon means that I would be trapped. Trapped I tells ya, at least overnight. Whereas if I go to visit the family home where my sister still lives, I only have to spend an hour or two - not trapped.

What else, what else...

I googled 'most boring place in the world' and it came up with references to;

Saitama Prefecture, Japan;
Wellington, New Zealand;
Sweden;
San Jose, Costa Rica;

Dagnammit! I have been to all of those places, I think the internet is ridiculous.

So, so, so, I think I have no interest in going to visit a coal mine in Western Australia, I think that would be a whole lot of boredom. I get totally over bus stops and have no intention of ever going to Marcia Hines' house --> "Adam, be true to yourself."

Thank you Mr Disco!


Disco party number 2 {as suggested by DIJ}

Well, you know, we couldn't be bothered. Cara had a massive gig on the night before and while neither of us had anything to drink, we were both completely wreaked...
So, we prepared for it quite late in the day and ended up being crazy, crazy late. Cara took something like 2 hours to get ready but she looked amazing. I totally way groovy man, like totally.

We arrived in time to stand at the entrance to watch the floorshow and eye all our friends in the audience, but everyone was far far too busy watching the dancers. I couldn't really see, my massive afro was all over the shop. For a gang that we used to be the centre of years ago, we really didn't know anyone at the ball, so after dumping our stuff had a bit of a dance.
No one came up to us, no one said hello.

Ater totally tackling a friend, we figured out why, no one recognised us at all. After that it was a bit funny, Cara had massive platform shoes on, so she was like 7 inches taller than usual and a blond afro wig. I had the biggest sunglasses and a black afro - quite differenter to our everyday personas. Cara couldn't really dance and had no mojo so it was a bit of a quiet night, I grooved the moves with a few people but with my little lady zonked with only her false eyelashes keeping her eyes open it was an early night too. Pretty fun, but not funness to the max!


Chips, Dips, Whips and Chains {suggested by Cazzie!!!}

Well, well, let's get started!

Chips!

I like cheesy CCs but I'm not really into chips. I'm a guts and hungry heaps and chips are a bit of a waste of effort, when I could be using that same effort for, say, an entire cow.
I would however really like to play poker with chips. I played once at a boys night and totally won, in one play we had 3 straights (like 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) with mine being the highest and I cleaned out two other dudes and played super conservative for the rest of the night. I saw celebrity texas holdem on TV and it totally looks like fun but I don't really know many people who'd be interested in playing a fun game but I'd never want to play for money, I think that would just make everyone nervous and weird.

Dips!

I am excellent at dips.Excellent!I did a small sample survey and 100% of girls surveyed said they loved dancing with me because I dip nicely. Not too fast, not too slow, not whiplashy and always in time. It's my one skill.

Whips!

My extended family are mostly from the country and so I have an uncle who can crack a fine whip. He used to give demos in my grandpas back yard but would never let us have a shot. "It's too dangerous" he said. "Bah" said I.

So, I stole it and tried it myself.
My cousins all cheered when I cracked it first shot. It wasn't the most thought out plan since the whip crack sounded through the entire landscape along with high pitched kid cheering. I got into trouble, but best of all, my uncle demonstrated it's danger by whipping a lemon on a tree and it took a fair chunk off. So the moral of the story is : kids, if you steal your uncle's whip, fit the thing with a silencer first.

Chains!

My dad used to have an office and my sister and I would go there after school and then later later we'd drive home.

The office was above a hardware store and we used to go in for a chat. One day when we were dragged to the office on a saturday, the hardware guy was painting over all the graffiti on the side of his store, for some reason he had a bit of metal chain about a whole hand length, and I started playing with it so he let me keep it. Since this was in the ninja turtle craze days, I made a pair of nun-chucks out of it. I was so proud of myself and tried to be as good as Michelangelo but in the end I had to give it up. There's just no good reason to inflict that many head injuries to yourself.


Dance Move Spectacularation! {as requested by Cherry!}

Now young lady, I haven't included any photos as yet, let me find some volunteers first.

Dance Move One : Boyband thrusts.

Warning, this is an advanced dance move.

1.) Stand straight with your weight evenly distributed between the balls of your feet and your heals.
2.) Rotate your hips 45 degrees left so your torso is facing a different way to your legs.
3.) Shape one hand into a fist and cup with the other.
4.) Throw your cupped hands up and away from yourself while throwing your bum out.
5.) Swing your hands down while at the same time thrusting your pelvis, so that hands and pelvis meet in the same vicinity at approximately the same time.
6.) Repeat for 3 motions, before rotating to the right. Repeat for 3 more motions and rotate to the right.
7.) Join any boy band, remember, knowledge of musical instruments is not allowed.

Once this dance move has been mastered, I will continue the lesson.


The Flying Spaghetti Monster {as requested by D'Jen}

What ho!If you google The Flying Spaghetti Monster you will be sadly misinformed. The internet claims it the creature is a work of fiction, when I have evidence it actually exists!!! (um, gasp please).

Visit holiday houses, especially ones that have had 14 friends come to stay. You will often see small marks of strains of spaghetti on glass work, or in more disgusting instances, still see a spaghetti tentacle still attached to said glass surface.

The Flying Spaghetti monster is a not often sighted animal, for it is skitterish at it's most brave. It eats socks. Black socks are often the favourite meal of the Flying Spaghetti monster but they don't grow very large, so it can only consume one such sock. It is not a dangerous animal and if you do happen to find one, serve with a tomatoes and garlic bread.

Thank you all for partipating in possibly the laziest blog experience known to me.