Young Lady. Weblog. Plus Other Similar Stuff.

Hi is this GBE, from http://girlblogetc.blogspot.com? How are you today?

Hello! Yes, 'tis I. And I'm quite well, thank ye for asking. Actually, scrap that, I'm about to leave for work and am therefore Quite Shitty.


Is the sunburn less ouchy?

The ouching has been replaced with itching. I am slightly fearful that my back is shedding like it needs a good dose of Head and Shoulders. My glowing white-skin-bodysuit is yet another element to make me all the more ridiculous.


So, for those of us that are new and not so good at catching up on back stories of your life and stuff.... your old blog implies that you used to be an office wench, but now you seem to work in a saley insurancey officey thing. Are we confused?

Well, Adam, let me tell you a tale. There once was a girl who started a blog because she was bored shirtless at work. She was a foolish, foolish girl, because she named her blog after her job. Then, when she left her job to become a nomad, the title didn't apply anymore and made her seem like a bit of a thicko. So she changed her blog and changed her job and gave the new one a completely bollocks title so that it wouldn't matter if she quit, and also because Tales from a Saley Insurancey Officey Thing was too long. I'm sure this has cleared everything up. Um.


Are you possibly An Awesome Dancer of Super Awesomeness by now?

You know, only the other day an instructor told me that I was dancing 'quite well.' Oh, how I blushed. I only step on peoples feet 50% of the time and I have only ever crotch-stroked somebody once, so I think that I am travelling along quite nicely.


WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET CHOCOLATE PIZZA IN BRISBANE?

Your excessive caps indicate that you are quite excited by this idea. There is a club/restaurant-type place called Brazilian Touch in the Valley, and the staff are foreign and blare muffled music over the speakers. As well as this, they have all you can eat Brazilian pizza and after you have stuffed your face, you can make yourself seriously ill by eating their dessert pizzas. Chocolate slathered all over the top of the base, chocolate INSIDE the base, fresh strawberries on top. Guaranteed to make your teeth fall out.


Have you been in Brisb, like forevs?

No, dear Adam. My life has been wrought with to-ing and fro-ing, starting with my birth in the cold/grey country of Wales back in 1983. To Australia, back to Wales, to Australia, then fulfilling the obligatory backpacker role for seven months last year, then back to Australia. In that time, I have been in a plane that almost crash-landed on its wing, and also in a plane that started bellowing smoke from one of its engine things. I love flying. It's my fave. I am off track!


How many of your posts were actually about you stealing the internet? Is it possible that all your posts about stealing the internet could trigger off some ASIO secret spying thing and end up with some dudes in black running in with guns, yelling 'hut hut hut' and grabbing you before you're able to peel yourself off your couch and run to safety?

How many? How many drops of water make up the ocean? I successfully stole the internet for the better part of a year before I decided to become an honest citizen and buy my own. If the ASIO chaps decide to bust in and hut on me, I will simply tell them this fact. Then they will put their guns down and say "well, as long as you've learnt your lesson" and then we will all have tea and pot noodles.


You do seem to be quite hilarious, where did you get your hilarity from?

This hilarity business is yet to be verified. When I was growing up, I lived in The Bush and my only forms on entertainment were fending off my brothers' punches and searching my body for ticks and leeches. Oh, those were the days. When I moved to The Big Smoke I discovered that people drove 'cars' and interacted with others on a 'social' level, and I was quite perplexed. I sheltered myself from this frightening world and commenced cracking crap jokes on the internet. And the rest, as they say, is history.


Can you give us a quick rundown of the plot of your internet movie project? Will it be better than Snakes on a Plane?

I have a couple of projects currently simmering away, Adam. I do intend to combine blogging with vlogging and begin posting videos of myself belching well-known showtunes and dancing like MC Hammer. Commencement date is yet to be confirmed but will most likely be after the purchase of a video camera and the consumption of a bottle of vodka. The other project will be an independent movie which at this stage is looking to be a kung fu musical featuring bearded dragons. What the readers want, the readers shall have. Whether it will be better than Snakes on a Plane remains to be seen. That's a pretty tough call.


Have you found a secret band to quite like before the masses get hold of it or do we need to start a blogband to keep you satisfied (assuming obviously that the blogband is awesome but oh so terribly too indie for mainstream)?

Alas, I am yet to find anyone. There was a talented chap playing the recorder on a street corner the other day, and for a brief moment I considered becoming his groupie so I could follow him around and dance a delightful jig in his wake, but in the end I was forced to acknowledge that he did actually smell quite a bit and kept interrupting his playing to scratch his crotch, so I scrapped the idea. A blogband is, in fact, the most fantastic idea in the world, Adam. I expect you to start one pronto.


You do seem to be quite excellent at including pictures and making sure sentences aren't too long or tricky. Do you have a secret guide that you follow to ensure blog posts are quite fun?

Fun? What is this fun that you speak of? As for long and tricky sentences I guess it's because I read a lot and most authors don't use long and tricky sentences unless they aim to write like that and then they usually become one of those cult writers who get a small but sometimes larger loyal fan following and sometimes authors can get away with writing total gibberish like Joyce for example.


Thanks for your excellent interviewness, do you have any words to leave us with?

You're welcome. Have a good day, and, uh, you know. Thanks for the interview. May your days be merry and bright. And may all your Christmases be white. Etc.