Too hardcore to be sore.

We were trapped.
We fired as soon as we saw the enemy coming, but they knew exactly where we were while we could only see glimpses through the thick bushes. Soon there was firing all around, the shells bouncing off the walls, we were all forced to keep our heads down, our President was tucked safely underneath the staircase below my tower. Soon, our comrades started to fall, the enemy had flanked us on all directions and the bodycount went up hardcore. Everyone around me was getting hit, anyone who put their heads up to see got hit. Finally, there was only me, a girl and our president when our Whitehouse was stormed and we were all killed.

The end.

So, that particular game sucked, but the rest of the paintbally day was pretty fun. I was worried at the start. The guy who organised it loves to win at any cost so I was worried the teams might be slightly unbalanced - that was totally confirmed when in two teams of 13, we had 5 girls to their two and they had to take our most athletic dude to make up their numbers, leaving his girlfriend terrified on our side. All the girls were super nervous, and rightfully so, I didn't read Enny's excellent Advice For Chicks For Paintball until today.

Despite the teams being fairly unfairly uneven, it was still pretty fun and our team didn't suck so much. I'm sore in the legs from running around all crouched and army like, but I'm without bruises because 1.) I don't bruise easily (read: Adam is Superhardcore) 2.) I used, like, strategy and stuff.

The other team had some real pyschos who were more aggressive than smart, so we had to totally try and counter that. What I found myself doing was finding a defensive spot in the middle, to shoot at all the dudes running. The first couple of seconds is a mad scramble and if you fire straight up you can slow them down or make them dive for cover quicker than they planned.

After that, everyone moves around slowly, creeping from spot to spot. It's really hard to see on these paintball battles because you worry that everytime you put your head up someone's going to shoot paint at you and you'll be out.

So, once everyone was behind their little bits of cover, everyone just trade shots with each other until someone goes out. At that point I'd run back to our start and go right around the side that has the least amount of action and hopefully get around behind the other team.
It worked pretty well, each 'battlefield' is marked out in tape so if you go along the boundry, you only have to worry about spotting enemies in a 90 degree field of view rather than a 180 degree. Paintball is all about angles. People hide behind stuff, so you have to find the angle to shoot at to hit them. Sneaking around the side gave me those angles.

It was a half day so we played 3 games, and each game had two turns, so that each team tried each side of each game. Each time they won, we won, each game they lost, we lost. Despite being a draw, the other team decided that they were the winners because in the story up the top, they shot our president within a 10 minute mark (we weren't allowed to leave our "Whitehouse" for the first 10 minutes) but that's because they played each game first and knew how hard it was.

At the end, there was a free-for-all type game which is basically to use up all your remaining paintballs. I was the only boy to sit it out... I was called a few names as the others marched in, which were quickly retracted when most people came screaming out with round welts on their personage. That end game is retarded, there's no strategy nor skill, it's just hilarious for the organisers to see adults cry.

Anywho, all the girls who went, who were really worried and scared, actually quite enjoyed it. I think you only massively bruise up if you charge forward without any sense or if you're unlucky enough to have someone ambush you. Leaving the girls in defence actually totally up'd their confidence, they got to hit boys who ran towards them, what more could a girl want?

Bevis, I didn't get a chance to hit anyone in the kippers or the boobies, they were sneakin' and hidin' too much. I did get to hit a dude who thought he'd duck and roll after I hit him (and he didn't own up) and hit him four or five times as he was rolling into cover.

Two thumbs up.