Freakin' smart alecs

A couple of my "friends" from Sydney got wind of that website thing I finished, here, for your reading pleasure are their completely unprovoked e-mails:

"

Hi Adam. Hi.

I'm weighed down by the weight of my work (and a fat-a-gram that I got from the Salvos downstairs). But I thought I'd check in and say hi.

hi.

I'm sending this email via your hot website. Its so hot, i burnt my clicking finger just perusing through its graphical interface.... (Is my nerd showing?) I'd better tuck that away. I trust melbourne is somehow satisficing you and your raging, nay violent, erection for the southern metropolis is so hard that Lend Lease have commissioned you to dig the foundations for a high rise.

I'd better get back to it, but know that my eyes are glistening like so much glycerine just thinking about you (and Pluck-a-ducks corageous battle with beak cancer)"

---------------------------------

Hi,

I am Freida, a 15 year old female farmhand from khazakstan, I have recently fled my opressive regeime and am in need of some work. Whilst searching for some information on Funky Towns I stumbled across your website. I am in dire need of money and would be prepared to pose for modelling photos for your site. I also posess skills in hay bailing, ploughing, shaving oxen, animal husbandry, yak herding, yodelling, knot tying, clog making, mud piling, coal lumping and carrying things on my head. I am 6 foot tall and quite developed for my age. I am not afraid of hard work, but I am afraid of tadpoles and Gary Glitter. I am willing to work for food, clothing and shelter, and my only dietry requirements are that I am a lactose intolerant, coeliac vegan on a liquids only diet. My religion prohibits me from eating during waking hours, and I dont like apples.

Please Please Mr Adam can you find it in the goodness of your heart to help me?

I also have a price on my head, and a band of ruffians from the Khazakstani hill tribes are trying to find and kidnap me.

Please send your reply to: goodsort@refugee_shack.com

Thank you

Freida"


See what I have to deal with? Freakin'!