The God of Willowdale....

Hi, is this the ever enigmatic and mysterious Jobe from http://jobilates.blogspot.com/? How are you today?

Oh, wow, I'm pretty enigmatic today to tell you the truth. *looks up enigmatic in the dictionary to make sure it doesn't mean dickhead* Yea engimatic as HELL right now. And also shocked to be chosen for this illustrious honour--Australian of the year.


How many times have you won the Internationally Acclaimed Most Number of High Quality and Hilarious Posts in One Day?

None. The accademy (read: cunts) hates me for some reason. I'm guessing it's because I'm just so incredibly good that they worry that no one can come close to me/they'll have to kick all the old people out of the hall of fame to house me. Sort of like Tiger Woods before he started sucking. I'm a lot like Tiger Woods actually...



I never did solve the riddle of James, Bill, Sharron, Mary and Michael. Are they your fans? Can you give me another clue? Does 'The God of Willowdale' also fit into this riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a blogosphere?

Ahhh good ol Willowdale. This is indeed a hard-hitting interview (it's only as hard as you make it, LOL!) because this was a secret I was going to take to the grave with me (because no one asked before). Let me explain it for you (this'll be boring, ha):

Willowdale was a little experiment in creative writing on my part. Basically, All of those 5 characters were residents of the fictional suburb of WIllowdale. As time goes by they eventually have a lot of interactions (although none of them know each other) and the readers
see all the coincidences that happen. Lots of cool stuff was going to happen like Bill having an affair, James and Mary hooking up and all of them joining the same gym for various reasons. The God of Willowdale was me, the allpowerful creator.

It would have been great but no one read it so I stopped it. (you should probably ask more interesting questions from now on)


I've seen your excellent/okayish comments around the traps, which blog is your favourite?

Well I'm still yet to see anyone come close to the unparallelled hilarity of I'M ON YOUR COMPUTER (http://postmoronic.blogspot.com/) apart from me and, to a certain extent, you (okay I'm lying to be nice). I don't use the term "comedic genius" very often, and this time
will be no exception.

I should also give shouts to Ladycrackerland (http://ladycrackerland.blogspot.com/), the number one on my blog review charts, and No Coles Supermart for Oatley (http://nocoles.blogspot.com/), the source of much humour/examples of how not to protest against a supermarket being built in your neighbourhood.


Have you ever been pronounced clinically dead?

I've pretty much achieved everything in my short life (apart from that).


I've noticed that there per blogging session, each post seems as off the wall as the last, and there is no congruency with each other, but after you read for a while, a lot of posts link with other posts from other days, making a massive complex web of posts. What is your favourite shape?

Ooooo, damn, you almost stumbled upon my secret but didn't go through with it.

My favourite shape is love/happiness.


Are you totally bummed or secretly relieved that we never bumped into each other in Sydney?

Pretty bummed. I would have preferred that this interview was conducted in a quiet neighbourhood cafe or big office building. People would think we were important, almost on the level of someone like Derryn Hinch or that guy who was in the final 12 of the first season
of Australian Idol.

Although I'm not surprised we didn't bump into each other, since I never leave the house. I'm too busy creating amazement 23 hours a day, 6 days a week.


Who are you?

You should have put this question first, you really messed up the flow of your interview. By putting it here you make me think I stumbled into the wrong interview and you just humoured me with a few questions to start off, hoping I'd go away.


Do you like stuff?

Stuff? Like... drugs? Why are you talking like this all of a sudden?
Is this interview just a cover for something else?

*looks under table*

We're cool man, we're cool.


Thank you so much for this interview, it is definitely quite a good one. Do you have any wise words to leave us with?

Haha, yes, lots! Such as the following:

- Wise
- Intelligent
- Butterfly/Papillon
- Haircut
- Your prescription will be ready in 20 days
- Stylish