Thursday, November 30, 2006

Bloggolympics New World Champion!!

"Hi, I'm standing here on the red carpet of the Bloggolympics Grand Final Final, this promises to be a very exciting night.

We've just received word that some famous Bloggolympians are heading this way. Oooo, there's La Nadine. Nadine, Nadine, you're looking great tonight. Nice cans."

La Nadine: "Rigged."

"Absolutely, thanks for participating. Oh, and there's Steph. Steph, you're looking lovely today"

Steph: "Why are you being nice to me? I'm scared."

"Um. Oh look, here come's Birdie, who flew all the way from America."

Birdie: "...and boy are my wings tired Thanks, it's lovely to be here. I think I'm doing a lovely job of being a genius ring in."

"Why yes. Yes you are. Best of the bunch I'd say. Hey, Audrey, Audrey, thanks for coming along."

Audrey: "No probs."

"Why hello there Lulu, how are you? You're looking super awesome in your little kimono. What a massive smile."

Lulu: "Thanks, do you understand how this whole Grand Final works, is it just made up?"

"No, not at all. 3 of them competed at once, two of them picked Scissors so soon they will battle it out. Exciting no? Actually, don't answer that, because I spy Kris. Kris, Kris, wait up, man you're fit, wait, we want to say hello."

Kris: "GO CHERRY!"

"So, who are you thinking of supporting for this massive Bloggolympics Grand Final?"

Kris: "I thought I made that abundantly clear."

"What? I was looking at Bevis... what a cute little sprog/Future Overlord."

Bevis: "Yeah, he's proud of his Dad who is the current Bloggolympics Champion of the World. Why just the other day he was doing the handsignal for 'You've certainly set the bar high in terms of dignity and poise for the next Bloggolympics Champion Of the World, a title that you currently own with dignity and poise.'"

"Yes, ENNY FOR ANYTHING 2006! Enny, Enny, I assume that's a very awesome bag you have there. It goes super with favourite dress number 14."

Enny: "Yes, I love it. I got it from...."

"Holly! Holly, how are you?"

Holly: "Good thanks, am I still in this thing?"

"Ho ho ho, no."

Holly: "Oh, when did I...."

"Nails! Nails! You travelled from Sydney to this undefined location!"

Nails: "Yes, I..."

"Mars, you look so aligned tonight. Whoa! You're looking quite proper and ladylike, done any First Husband Finding short courses lately?"

Mars: "No."

"Do you think you'll win any awards tonight?"

Mars: "Asian hat, Asian hat, Asian hat, Mars."

"Um, okay. Random. Whoa! Muffin? Hi."

Muffin: [greeting not updated for many months]

"Um, so the blog is going well then."

Muffin: [comments not updated for many months]

"Whoa! There's GBE, you put up a good fight. Did the Bloggolympics inspire you to get a new job somewhere grouse."

GBE: "I think you'll find the Bloggolympics makes everything super ace. Including, but not exclusive to, life."

"Whoa! I couldn't have put the words in your mouth by typing them on a computer screen any better than that. P.S) There's Fluffy, Hi Fluffy."

Fluffy: "Hi, have I ever told you how remarkably like Sammy Davis Jnr you look?"

"NO! You have not yet. Whoa! Deb, Deb, slow down, slow down."

Deb: "Can't talk, photoing then photoshopping."

"But I wanted to ask you if you enjoy being a Killer of KikiKeeks, go mo ho! Freakin' it's down to your knees!"

Kiki: "That's worth sponsoring don't you think?"

"Pffft, it's not down to the bottom of your knees. Dave Mack, holy mother you have a very large brain."

Dave Mack: "Ecastic!"

"Whoa! To be here? Awesome! Why, look at this delightful young lady, you're looking bronzed and relaxed."

Delightful Jen: "Well, I'm sunning myself right at this very second..."

"Multitasking. Speaking of which, I'm Not Craig, are you eating a chicken burger?"

I'm Not Craig: "... gulfm"

"Um, okay, great, whoa! Here's some more fun-filled fattening food, Drowning In Jello, Drowning In Jello, how are you?"

Drowning In Jello: "GO RED!"

"Who? Whoa! We must have seen everyone so far, wait, wait, wait, who is THAT GUY?!?"

Jobe: "Who?"

"You man, who are you?"

Jobe: "You never heard of me, you must not be a hotbabe."

"Um, well, I'm not, but I could be."

Jobe: "... I don't do speechless."

"Whoa! Pomgirl, Pomgirl, did you fly all the way back from the home country just for this prestigious event?"

Pomgirl: "No, I needed some jumpers."

"Whoa! I'm super nervous but also quite excited, I'm inside the main arena walking down to meet with our Grand Final Final competitors. They are both pretty hot and entertaining, both are chicks and both are not Australian, is there no end to the similarities? Here is Cherry!"

Cherry!: "This is for girth!"

"Hi Girth! Good luck tonight. Whoa! There is something odd about Meghan, she seems to look less cute than usual, she looks more like a mascot at a game of sports."

Meghan: "Shh, it's me, Birdie..."

"Smooth. Well, good luck tonight."

"The crowd is reaching a fever pitch, they are all shouting and yelling and passing out for their favourite Bloggolympics Champion. Who will win? Who will lose? How will they play the game because that's what really matters. Whoa! They are winding up..."

Meghan: "paper". Cherry!: "scissors"

"Cherry! Wins! Exactly 50% of the crowd goes completely berko, the other exact 50% is saddened for the twice 2nd place runnerer."

"Oh look, from the ceiling! Floating down in a silver speed suit, it's Bevis... he's going to present the Bloggolympics Champion Of The World trophy to Cherry! He looks great up there! We love that guy"

Bevis: "Congratulations Cherry! I can not name all the ways your life shall become super awesome after being named Bloggolympics Champion Of The World, but I can tell you it is approximately 83 ways. You have been a proud, brave competitor, strong and silent, good teeth and we, Bloggolmpians the world over salute you. Huzzah! Huzzah!"

15 Comments:

At 9:02 PM, Blogger Enny said...

Adam - you are so nasty for making fun of me like that!

Tho i do like your BEVIS style homage.

 
At 9:21 PM, Blogger Mars said...

well, the concept was great, exectution and management were good... only one thing could have been better though...

i guess i'll be the one to say it then... we're all a bunch of bad sports afterall, and i wish i had won.

that's right, I SHOULD HAVE WON.

might go sulk now...

 
At 9:34 PM, Blogger Ben said...

I said no such thing!

I will not tolerate these (unfunny) lies!

 
At 9:57 PM, Blogger Steph said...

Totally taken out of context. AGAIN.
Where's my solicitor???

 
At 1:11 AM, Blogger Kris said...

The convent always wins!

Congratulations to everyone else though!

Btw..Cherry update your blog.

 
At 10:05 AM, Blogger Adam said...

Young Enny, the highest form of flattery is to totally make fun of someone. It means I truly respect and love all of you, way more than those people who are lovely to you. Bevis is a blogging institution, how could one not pay homage?

Mars, I wanted you to win, I think it really could have boosted your blogging career and given you the confidence you need to become Australia's first female President, but that's the way bloggolympics work out. Crazy, crazy times.

Jobe, what are you talking about? This is exactly what you said when I bumped into you when we were coincidentally stalking Kate Ceberano.

Steph, you told me that getting taken out of context was one of your favourist things; like puppies and string. I'm going to ask Jobe to represent me, you don't stand a chance.

Yeah Cherry! You are most hilarious. Bring on the love.

 
At 11:23 AM, Blogger Mars said...

i don\'t beleive that for a second. if you really wanted me to win, you could have made it happen, adam...

 
At 11:56 AM, Blogger Adam said...

One day when you have little Bloggolympics of your own you'll understand...

 
At 12:21 PM, Blogger BEVIS said...

Very brilliant! I love reading a good blogscript! :)

Thanks for the kudos, too.

Congratulations to Cherry! 83 ways, huh. I only noticed 81. I got jibbed!

Well done Adam. You're the unsung hero of the Bloggolympics. You're the umpires, the officials, the guy with the starter's gun and the dude who folds up all the countries' flags afterwards. You're the Queen cutting the tape, the Cathy Freeman lighting the cauldron, the Juan Antonio Samaranch making a speech, and the oversized blue kangaroo on a bicycle. YOU ARE THE BLOGGOLYMPICS.

We - as a community of bloggers / participants - salute you.

Except for Mars, who is too busy sulking to want to join in.

And Jobe, who is pissed off with you but organising your defense against Steph regardless.

Steph, strangely, is standing with the rest of us, fully supporting you. She's a complicated woman.

Welcome to the Bloggolympics Hall of Fame, Cherry! Time to add us to your sidebar, Adam.

 
At 7:25 PM, Blogger Deb said...

hil-fucken-larious! nice work dude. I needed a good giggle today!!

 
At 10:09 PM, Blogger I'm not Craig said...

Congratulations Cherry.

And oh what might have been, but for that dodgy penalty at the last minute/ saying paper instead of rock.

Adam, you appear to have accidentally published my word verification instead of something incredily witty I said about chicken burgers. What up wit' that?

 
At 8:59 AM, Blogger BEVIS said...

Dear Adam & all Bloggolympics participants,

I have thrown down the gauntlet.

Répondez, s'il vous plaît.

 
At 12:59 PM, Blogger Cherry! said...

You would not believe how much my life has changed since I became Bloggolympics Champion of the World!!!

Thanks for the well wishes peeps! I shall post soon when my media committments ease of a tad....

 
At 1:00 PM, Blogger Cherry! said...

Should have said off....not of....the tiara makes my brain slow down....

 
At 9:12 PM, Blogger BEVIS said...

That damn tiara is one thing I won't miss about being Bloggolympic Champion of the World ...

 

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