The American Legend

Hi, is this Young Sarah the Awesome from http://www.okayseriously.blogspot.com?
How are you today?
Well to be perfectly honest I'd kind of like to make out with you for calling me young. And awesome.


You're pretty funny for a chick, is it hard being a trailblazer and all round American legend?
Only Elvis Presley, David Hasselhoff and I can really know what this feels like.


The only thing I know about Cleveland is that they have a baseball team and the Drew Carey show was there. Is there anything else there that I should know about? Is it totally your favourite place in the whole wide world?
Well you should also know that Cleveland is the home of Arsenio Hall which means that by transitive it is the home of the "Woo Woo!" cheer. Also parts of downtown kind of smell like pee. It's one of my favorite places in the world because it's where I keep my bed and television.


Is there any chance that you'll be marrying Australian royalty in the foreseeable future?
Absolutely-that is if you say 'Yes'. You're the only Australian royalty I know.


Explain the weirdness.... you're friends psychotically love your blog and apply massive pressure to write more and more the funny, but they don't really listen to you when you see them. Have you thought about living through your blog much like the Great Wizard of Oz behind his curtain?
Wow-I love this idea. Have you ever seen "The Wiz"? It's a remake of "The Wizard of Oz" that was released in 1978 and starred Michael Jackson, Diana Ross and Richard Pryor. I want to be the wizard in that one because then I would be called The Wiz. I really can't explain why my friends are obsessed with the blog and not with me personally. I mean what's the deal? Do I smell? Am I a close talker? Do I offend with my coat made of human flesh? It certainly is a mystery.


So, um, do you, um, do you like...... stuff?
I like stuff, but I'm really more into things.


So, what do you think about the theory I just made up that your life is becoming more drunkener and funner to cater for the high demand of storiness of your blog?
I can see where you might think that, but the truth is I am always that drunk. If I knew how to create a line graph that would show my levels of drunkenness over time, it would be a mostly straight line with a small spike around the summer of 1999. I had a lot of fun that summer.


Do you have any theories that you'd like to make up?
I have this theory that whenever I enter a greeting card store or a shoe store, I will immediately have to go to the bathroom even if I went 5 minutes earlier.


Where is it exactly, that you learnt to tell totally okayish stories?
The skill for telling okayish stories isn't something that can be learned. It's passed down from generation to generation. It's just part of my heritage to be able to share mediocre stories in a semi-entertaining fashion.


Is the internet aware that there is a photo of you with a bag over your head in January 2005? Clearly I think in your blogiversary you should put up another shot of you with a bag to show how much you've grown. Hmm, did you notice this question was just a thinly veiled avenue for expressing my own opinion?
I'm not sure the internet is aware of that photo because nobody cared about me back then. I think putting up a new one for my blogiversary is a great idea even though nobody really cares about me now. Maybe this time I'll use a duffle bag. It's the new black. As far as this question just being a way for you to express your opinion, I am not surprised. You are extremely crafty and obviously untrustworthy.


I have noticed that most people start their blogs with total aspiration of sharing their innermost thoughts and experiences.... then totally deteriorate into writing about television shows. You totally started with the premise of writing about tv shows and stuff. Are you aware that this may have made you the smartest person to ever hang out with the internet?
Of course I'm aware of that. I'm the smartest person on the Internet, remember? Actually when I started the blog, I looked inside myself to begin discussing my innermost thoughts and feelings. Turns out my innermost thoughts and feelings are about "Lost", Hilary Duff and Bennifer.


If/when you have kids, will you name them Adam or go for more traditional names like Scooby Doo, Darth Maul, etc?
My kids will be numbered. I am way too busy being drunk and watching TV to try to remember names when I need one of them to bring me something. It's much easier to just yell out, "Number 2! Bring mommy her vodka!"


Thank you totally for your interviewness, are their any words you'd like to leave us with?
Kumquat, dinghy, woodpecker, penal and Uranus.