Thursday, April 21, 2005

Quality!

I'm a bit over being the jealous type. In fact I hate it. It is a quality I certainly don't like in other people but I especially dislike it in myself.... as long as I can remember it's always been there.

I'm not a overbearingly jealous person and I'd say that most people wouldn't even notice or have any idea that it's a quality I'd even possess, but it is always there. Somewhere along the line I've been someone's favourite at something and I've turned around and reckoned it's rad.
It colours the things I say, every now and then I will totally launch into and tease someone that's funnier than me, every now and then I find myself asking Cara questions to find if I have a reason to be jealous. Even though I'm probably subtle, she's a chick and clearly picks up on it. Picking up on it colours the things that she might tell me, which means I notice absences or stories that might not match up or people might say things that she probably should have.
Understand, that I'm not even talking about important things, I'm not talking about Cara cheating or even being outrageously flirtatious or anything. The things I get jealous over are so stupid that I when I wake up I feel silly and childish. Even though she's cluely, I'm sure that even she has no idea about all the things I've been jealous over in the past, I'm smart enough to (mostly) think before I speak.

Anyway, how do I fix this? How do I totally learn that I don't have to be everyone's favourite or even that if a girlfriend did cheat on me, or love someone else or whatever, it'll be crap but then it'll be fine. I know I can deal with anything, I just don't know why spikes of jealousy pepper my conversations.

It's a self-respect thing I'm sure, where do I buy one of those?

P.S) Yo! It was salsa dancing I think, hell, I don't even know. How many salsa sauce conventions are there?

6 Comments:

At 8:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've actually heard of a couple of salsa sauce conventions (never attended any) around here, though I think a salsa dancing convention would be infinitely more interesting!

 
At 8:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know if you know this or not, but you should write your email address like this: the.adz [at] gmail [dot] com instead of the normal way with the @ and the . so you don't get spammed. Unless you are a fan of spam and then you should totally ignore me...!

 
At 1:40 PM, Blogger Adam said...

I always wondered why you did that, I just assumed it was the new, cool, hip, internerd way.

Thanks! Now I just have to figure out how to get to that changey bit.

Fan of Spam, surely that's a new disease of the naughties.

 
At 1:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It might actually be the cool, hip, internerd way--invented by those cool, hip, internerds looking to outsmart the spam robots. I learned it from a guy who works for Google.

 
At 2:45 PM, Blogger Adam said...

And did he get his job at google by seeing an add and following clues around the internet to find the job application?!? Love that!

 
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