The Not Smartest Thing

Early last year, I made the purchase that would change my live forever and ever. It was this.
Duh, ok, I don't even know if that worked... I just bought a freakin' shaving thing, okay.

Now, before you go all, I don't read this blog for curseded (note: not a real word) product reviews, I read this blog because it's rarely updated and makes me feel like treasure when I finally do see a post. This isn't a product review, it's totally a story with the main character being me and the second main character being the shaver thing.

Anyways, it's a normal shaver except for one awesome difference, it has a battery inside it!
Whoa!!
It's not a battery shaver though, I've never had one of those, this one you still shave normally but it vibrates slightly for no reason.

Enough about the shaver? Okay, I agree.
The relationship between the Adam and the shaver was going smashingly for months and months and then one day the Adam made a startling discovery.

"Whoa! I've just remembered that every time I shave, that little bit under my nose is quite sensitive..... I'm such a girl."

I can shave as rough as you please, except for that little bit under my nose. I'm usually cool if I do that bit first while it's still wet and warm from my shower and everything is fine.... but one day, armed with my shaver with added vibrational I had a spectatular idea.

"Whoa! I wonder if the micro vibrations can do the shaving for me? That way I don't have to move my hand that much."

I am the smart.

So, I tried it out, I held the shaver in all it's glory under my nose and then moved it slightly to the next bit. It took freakin' forever so I got over it and shaved like a normal person.

Until!

Actually, not until, I totally finished the shaving job and went about my merry way.

Until!

Until I noticed that the bit under my nose was quite red and a little hurty.
Ah, toughen up soldier, be a man. (Note: I never talk to myself in this manner)

The next day, the skin under my nose was still a bit red and had dried flakes where it tried to heal. Slight gross.

The next time I did the shave, I did it like a normal person the whole way through, but That Bit got all red and angry again. It would be angry for a day then settle down until the next time I shaved. I started to not shave very often. I became slightly sexier/more manly.

For those that read our little overseas jaunt journal, Alex was very excited about his 'Around the world in 80 shaves". The premise was that we would have a shave every few days by various barbers in different countries, and compare results. It made an everyday chore that is almost fun into something almost fun.

These barbers would shave me and That Bit would flare up a little, but less and less and since we only shaved like 4 times the entire month I was away it totally seemed to heal. Yay! Mucho Celebrational! Curse lifted. Case closed.

Oh. But yeah. Came back home.
I thought again.

"What if the problem with That Bit was because of the vibrational shaver? Maybe I should use a different shaver"

Tangent - I took the vibrational shaver overseas, it kept self-turning-on plus buzzing everytime we went through customs. I made many friends.

So, at home, I bought a normal normal razor but That Bit did start up again.
I went to the chemist yesterday and spoke to a person and bought some stuff that should fix it, except last night I scratched off some random bits of dried skin. Slight gross.
Now, I have a sore red angry spot doing a Mighty Fine Impersonation of a Hilter Mustache.

Have become less slightly sexy and less manly. Send flowers.