Jobe and BEVIS are the same person!!
You heard it here first!
I wanted to write a blog of my travel adventures - without actually going anywhere. But then, I accidentally went somewhere, but I didn't blog about it, so that leaves us with..... this.
A while ago, I was having a bit of a whinge, a bit of a complain, a bit of a 'sooky sooky la la' about a young model who had stood me up twice (Twice!). Some months later I finally worked up the courageness to give it another attempt. This chick was way better with her correspondence and totally showed up with helpers, makeup chick, bodyguard, driver, etc forcing me to be actually okayish instead of dodge.
Hey, hey, as mentioned below, a little bit of language learning has been coming my way and I've decided that for our little travelling group of four need to concentrate on the following phrases. Anyone wanna translate? Extra points are provided to those who can describe my travelling companions.
Well hello there children,
..... the competitors raise their hands again. The strain is visible, the pressure high, the world watching. A bead of sweat slides down Bevis' forehead. He doesn't notice. His mind is a buzz, he thinks of his first car, his hopes, his dreams, the unmatchable excitement of winning a paper, rock, scissors competition at primary school and then the crushing disappointment to test positive for the performance enhancing Coca Cola, fairybread and peanut butter combo. His mind races for an eternity, when he suddently snaps and thinks only clarity. He's ready.
Our brave competitors faced off, each with their respective countries behind them, each with supporters near and far chanting their name.
"Bevis", "Meghan", "Meghan", "Bevis".
The crowds were deafening, a pure human wall of sound, people screaming their lungs out in support until the overly attractive Judge says....
A hush falls over the arena, the silence a shock to the system of all except the two figures standing in the middle. They couldn't be more different people, yet united by the event they have fought all to participate in. One of these two will be the Bloggolympics Champion of the World.
They both raise their hands. Bevis is full of excitement and energy,Meghan displaying a moment of self-doubt. Their hands bounce in the centre; one, two. Everything rides on this result, the crowd leans forward as one.
"Bevis has.... scissors"
"Meghan has..... scissors"
The crowd can't believe it, some look faint. Each member of the audience and the millions watching the televised coverage, wonders how they wouldcope, standing in the centre, the eyes of the world on you, facing off against an awesome competitor.
To be continued.....
It's here! It's massive! It's been worth the wait (opinion of Adam 10/11/2005)!!
When you've got a moment, feel free to type in adamisntgoinganywhere into that Google monster. Click Search.
What would you expect? My blog thing, for sure? Some of your blog things where you've referenced me, why not?
Would you expect........ "gay cairns australia"? What about freakin "gay kangaroo island australia"?
HowthewhatthehellofaresultsisthehellofthatPSalsowhatthe? I've never even been to Cairns or Kangaroo island (although I do hear they are lovely this time of year). Can you hear me internet? I HAVEN"T EVEN BEEN TO THOSE PLACES, oh yeah, also I'M NOT AN EXCELLENT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE GAY POPULATION OF AUSTRALIA, BEING YOU KNOW, NOT THE GAYEST! Freakin! The irony of the words adamisntgoinganywhere to be used to link holiday destinations is almost too much. Damn you internet and all your entertainingness/ironies! I'd totally abscond, if only I knew what the word meant.
Saturday morning, the world is sleeping, a skill I've never truly acquired. Gotta get moving, movement with no direction, aim or destination. Movement purely for movements sake. I find myself in areas I have not been for a very, very, very long time. Roads I spent every day on for years I now struggle to remember where they lead. I found the house I lived in for 2 years, the one that had burnt down a couple of months after I moved out. It's still sitting there, only scorch marks and half a roof in a leafy, quiet suburb. The house I moved into after deciding two days prior that I couldn't possibly live with my mum anymore. The next door neighbour that was so incredibly welcoming and friendly. Went past the house of the girl who hung out with my friends years after we broke up. The carpark where I learnt to drive. The hilly roads that we skateboarded down pulled along by bicycles until we hit reckless speeds and overtook the bikes. The shopping centre where I bought birthday, christmas presents, where we hung out, went through that shoplifting phase, stealing stuff we didn't need and certainly didn't want but was the biggest thrill we knew. The house of my best friend whose little 8 year old brother collapsed and died after we had moved away and weren't there for them. My dad's old office that my sister and I spent thousands if not hundreds of hours hanging out in. The family house where we had to tell people after my Dad for money that he wasn't home, had to vet every phone call. The driveway where the car was repossessed but I didn't understand how or why. The house I used to hang out on the roof, the house where the worlds fastest skateboard was stolen and I spent the next few years in rollerblades. The venue of our year 10 something something afterparty where the dudes who knew how to pick up chicks and the dudes who didn't were so obviously divided. Emotional freakin' rollercoaster! So many things I'd forgotten, sometimes I think all we have is our memories. Too freakin' fragile!
It's monday morning, I'm completely hungover, surviving on four hours sleep, just had a sausage roll and three Teddy bear biscuits for breakfast, I've accidentally rocked up in a bright blue shirt, brown pants and black shoes.
Freakin' tagged. What's the world coming to? I thought I was exempt from such daggy blogger things, who can resist The BEVIS?
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, it has finally happened!
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, here is the moment you've been waiting for!!!
Just when you didn't think it could get any hotter:
America vs Australia Part I - The fellowship of the rock, paper, scissors.
Australia vs America Part II - Cagematch.
We're just a round two and grand final away from Bloggolympic Champion of the World.
* I'll update who DrowninginJello is competing against once I finally have a winner. It might be a dude called 'Jobevis'.
This is it kids, this is the moment I'm ready to tell you that I don't have the official results yet. Those excellent boys have drawn again. That's 3 times in a row people! Clearly, they are amazing!